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NVC Resources on Vulnerability

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Connection Requests

Connection requests focus on the quality of connection between people instead of on any particular strategy or solution. While the core motivation for a connection request may be connection with the other person, varied internal states and needs may help guide us toward different types of connection requests. Self-connection and understanding of our motivation in making a connection request can...
The Transforming Power of Authenticity

Jori and Jim Manske offer writing practices to help us become more firmly grounded in the authorship of our lives. That grounding helps us share ourselves with others more authentically and vulnerably(scary honesty). This recording is from the Taste of Compassionate Leadership monthly videoconference. Keywords: empathy exercises/practices feelings honesty observation presence strategies...
Finding Security in the Face of Fear

In pandemic we can notice where we seek security. For some, financial systems that seemed to offer security have suddenly become unpredictable. For others, living without such privilege, resources are even more difficult to access. And we become more vulnerable to illness and death. These changes can trigger fear, but also motivate choices that contribute to a sense of security. Read on for...
Alarm Feelings

Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only...
Tools for Mindfulness of Impact in Dialogue

If you want a better connection it's crucial to be mindful about how your communication affects your partner. This means noticing and keeping eye contact, observing body language, and checking for their reactions. You can also share in small increments, check in before sharing vulnerable thoughts, and express what you notice. Give yourself empathy when you notice that you want to be right more...
The Power of Making Requests

Mary Mackenzie explores the fourth component of Nonviolent Communication—making requests—and why it feels like “graduate level” NVC. Asking for what we truly want is vulnerable, yet it’s also a profound gift of honesty and connection in our relationships. With practice, compassion, and creativity, we can build the skills to make requests that deepen trust, foster understanding, and open new...