Browse by Trainer

NVC Resources with Elia Lowe-Chardé

Search Terms:

Advanced Search

Select Media Type, Click Search

Free Your Heart From the "Difficult" Person

Reacting is deciding what to do based on what someone else does. Responding is deciding what to do based on your own needs and values. When someone isn't responding the way you want, and you want to respond in a way that embodies your values, with warmth and patience, examine your reactions. Ask yourself how you can access compassion and action that contributes to the well-being of all. See...
Staying Self-Connected in a Challenging Dialogue

When we're judging we're less able to access what we care about and what we could do about the situation. Instead, create more internal space, self connection and agency starting with connecting to your feelings and needs; then feel your grief or disappointment; followed by getting curious about the other party's needs and context -- and then based on collective needs and the long term effects...
The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a...
3 Strategies for Working With Worry

When you follow your worry to the underlying universal need, you can check in with that need and discern wise action. To get there, we can try out prayer, wishes, savoring the need, or compassionate witnessing. If you are noticing and naming the aspects of worry continuously, the compassionate witnessing practice will interrupt the habitual spinning of worry-filled stories. There are at least...
What Does It Mean To Be Sensitive, Not Reactive?

Reactivity is the misperception of threat coupled with lack of access to compassion and wisdom. Sensitivity is an ability to deeply perceive data, plus consciously attend to and attune to data, as it comes through the five senses. It can be a gift. If you lack the skill to care for any of your sensitivity-overwhelm by setting boundaries, you may develop reactive habits, like suddenly...
Finding Agency and Seeing Shame

The ability to identify your needs and take effective action to meet them is one way to define agency. Access to agency is complex and varies widely from person to person. Access to agency depends upon a variety of conditions. For example, if you struggle with agency, shame may tell you that you're broken in some way. If agency comes easily in an area, then you may view others who struggle with...
Distinguishing Life-Serving Boundaries From Requests

For effective dialogue clarify your needs, boundaries, and requests beforehand. Setting boundaries is telling someone what you're going to do in order to meet or protect needs for yourself or others. Whereas with requests, even if you have preferences, you still hold open curiosity about strategies to collaborate with others in meeting needs. Read on for more. See this article Keywords:...
Finding Security in the Face of Fear

In pandemic we can notice where we seek security. For some, financial systems that seemed to offer security have suddenly become unpredictable. For others, living without such privilege, resources are even more difficult to access. And we become more vulnerable to illness and death. These changes can trigger fear, but also motivate choices that contribute to a sense of security. Read on for...
How To Listen and Find Aliveness in Containment

Physical distancing is opportunity to creatively to meet your needs in new ways. In this containment, with very few cues from others and the environment you now have a rare opportunity with less external distraction to rethink what's truly supportive -- and make significant changes to the less noticable habits of mind, standards and "should's". Applying questions and noticing certain symptoms...
Feelings vs Interpretations

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations. See this learning tool Keywords: feelings faux feelings...