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NVC Life Hacks 39

We live in a world where there is a lot of anger. It can be a strong and intense emotion that we feel or receive from others sometimes on a daily basis. Whether that's an agitated partner, road rage, or a disgruntled colleague. While we're familiar with this feeling, we're not necessarily well equipped with how to express it in a healthy way. In this month's Life Hack, Shantigarbha takes us...
Fearless Loving and Living

Access this complete 4 session course Jumpstart your Mastery of Fear by using this unusual blend of experiential exercises, humor, empathy, original songs and stories, transformational truth telling, creativity and FRED (Frequency Resonation Energy Dynamics). Listen to this exciting telecourse recording and you will gain new information that will forever change your experience of fear. Learn...
Protective Use of Force

Trainer Tip You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. —Kahlil Gibran In most situations, if both people have a chance to be heard, peaceful resolution is possible. However, situations sometimes arise that involve imminent danger with little time for dialogue, or in which one person may not be willing to communicate. When this...
Idiomatic vs. Formal Compassionate Communication

Trainer Tip Every thought is new when an author expresses it in a manner peculiar to himself. —Marquis de Vauvenargues Do you sometimes feel awkward when you use the four components of Compassionate Communication (observation, feeling, need, request)? The four components are a tool to help people interact with others in a connected and compassionate manner. Formal use of the language is very...
Getting Your Needs Met

Trainer Tip We have been doing the wrong things for the right reasons. —Melody Beattie I once heard a parable about a woman who went to the hardware store every day and asked for a gallon of milk. Every day the clerk would tell her that she was in a hardware store that didn’t carry milk and suggested she try the grocery store down the street. As time went on, she returned angrier and more...
Distinguishing Universal Needs from Strategies

In this excerpt from their book, CHOICE: A field guide for navigating the polarization of our world and living interdependently, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between universal needs and strategies. Universal Needs Essential life qualities Needs are the essence of life, the miraculous qualities that spark my thoughts, speech, and all my actions. This...
Enriching Life

Trainer Tip What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart. —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. In Compassionate Communication, we believe that enriching life is the most satisfying motivation for our actions. If you are motivated by fear, guilt, blame or shame, your actions will usually be motivated by avoiding pain. The best way to...
Living Autonomously

Trainer Tip The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. —Marcel Proust Many people consider autonomy, or free choice, to be a need. That is, they believe that we all need it to live happily. I see autonomy more as something we already have, as a way of living. Let’s imagine that a friend of yours works for someone who wants her to start her...
Focusing On What You Want

Trainer Tip If you fear something, you set yourself up to experience it again and again. As Job said, “What I have feared has come upon me.” —Gloria Karpinski Nonviolent Communication teaches us that it is more productive and satisfying to focus on what we want than on what we don’t have or don’t like. For example, say your partner spanked your five-year-old child, and you feel strongly that...
Complex Truth-Telling And Empowered Change

"Our bodies don’t want to spend their energy denying, suppressing, avoiding, and averting. They want to live organically in what’s true for them. They want their messages to be received, so they can move, shift, and flow with the rhythms of life." Have you noticed a tendency in yourself to try to "look on the bright side" when things are feeling chaotic or painful? It makes so much sense why we...