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NVC Resources on Mediation

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Starting the Future Today

We can dream and wait for the day to do things differently, or we can continually take steps towards the future of our dreams as though it were here now. The future will not be significantly different from the present if we all act as if change is not possible or only possible after it's already happened. Instead, we can immediately consider everything we do as the possible seed of change...
Beyond The Tyranny Of Hard Work

through it, the more shocked I felt, with memories rushing in. Namely, I used to work so much. I would give four to five training-days per week, with squeezing all the meetings, preparations, mediations, writing articles and handouts into the remaining time. I basically did not live – I worked, fed myself and I slept. Consequentially I was completely knocked-out in illness twice a year for a...
Past Stories, Present Feelings

two nights ago and the only thing that was coming up is that no one knows fully what I have experienced. I will be meeting with the other person from this professional relationship for NVC mediation. I have some awareness that I resist letting go of my stories because they so much relate to my need for self-dignity and self-worth. I have trouble connecting with the beauty of these needs in this...
Reconciliation & Healing

it to working with people in deep interpersonal pain. In this telecourse recording John will present and demonstrate this process, as well as show how the basic elements are part of an NVC mediation approach to dealing with conflict. Keywords: feelings mourning needs observation presence requests self empathy compassion healing self compassion families family conflict family communication...
Enemy Images Process and Exercise

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap? Namaste, —K.M., California, USA Trainer Answer and Practice Exercise The first step is to recognize when enemy images are present in our minds. Often I find that these images operate at a semi-conscious level,...
Clarifying Our Requests to Meet Our Needs

Trainer Tip We know that when people learn to communicate effectively with each other, their lives and their relationships can be truly transformed. —Dr. Thomas Gordon Consider these common complaints: “My husband never listens to me.” “My wife is always talking about her feelings, and then she wants me to talk about my feelings too!” We understand the frustration behind statements like these,...
Connecting Feelings and Needs

Trainer Tip You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. —Eleanor Roosevelt How are you feeling right now? Do you feel happy? If so, then your needs in this moment are met. If you feel sad, tired, angry, hurt, or disappointed, they are not. Take a minute to check in with yourself. Do you need love, support, reassurance, hope,...
Bringing the Topic of a Conversation Back to Your Needs

Trainer Tip “I think patience is what love is,” he said, “because how could you love somebody without it?” —Jane Howard You pop into your colleague’s office to say hi and ask what time it is. He offers a lengthy dissertation on how clocks work. You think you could walk out the door without him noticing, but deep down, you respect him and you want to maintain a cordial relationship. On the other...
Can the Social Order Be Transformed Through Personal Practice? - Part 2

We can't, alone (nor with lone communities) transform the hidden structures of violence and domination. Dialogue alone isn't disruptive enough. We can easily be in dialogue with Trump supporters while the planet burns up, millions are still hungry, and we go extinct. NVC seriously risks reinforcing vast inequities and abuses if we're not radically engaging systemic constraints, and impacts of...
Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

Trainer Tip I particularly hope to address parents’ yearning for deeper connection with themselves, their partners, and their children, and their desire to contribute, through parenting, to fostering peace in the world. —Inbal Kashtan Parents are often tempted to wield their enormous physical, emotional, and intellectual power in order to coerce their children into doing what they want. This...