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NVC Resources on Parenting

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Use of Consequences to Change Behavior

behavior? —B.N., USA Trainer Answer Listen to the Audio above for the complete trainer answer. Keywords: expression feelings honesty needs strategies compassion connection inspiration listening parenting relationships Family Conflict family communication honest expression Godfrey Spencer
Why I'm Grieving the Loss of Both Israelis and Palestinians

The past week since the horrific terrorist attacks in Israel by Hamas and the ensuing war in Gaza have been extraordinarily difficult. As distraught as I feel, I cannot begin to fathom the shock, grief, and pain of those directly affected. Yet I have been profoundly affected emotionally, both as a longtime peace activist and as an American Jew born to an Israeli parent. As a Buddhist meditation...
Giraffe Fighting

Access this complete 2 session course Do you find yourself giving in with growing resentment? Do you rebel or get angry as a way to take your needs seriously? Do you avoid conflict and explode later without apparent reason? Listen to this two-session course recording to re-imagine and fine tune your skills at dealing with disagreements and negotiations. This class is about finding a place...
Punishment, Needs and the Protective Use of Force

Ask the Trainer: For many years I have been using crime and punishment (reward and consequences) to discipline because it was the only thing I knew. I knew deep in my heart it was alienating me...
Bystander Intervention

Never, ever be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well being of the person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way —Martin Luther King Jr. Be An Active Bystander This quote reminds me of how important it is to do the right thing (that which serves life). No matter how hard it may be to do the right...
Love Without Conditions, Control or Coercion

In this compelling, prerecorded telecourse, discover how freedom and autonomy are the basis for all healthy relationships. Kelly provides tools to help anyone improve or create outstanding relationships with others. The critical first step is creating a giving, loving relationship with yourself. Discover how to use "high-octane empathy and self-empathy" to overcome the four great "love-enders,"...
Beyond The Tyranny Of Hard Work

The other day I was going through my calendar in the past ten years, searching for some things, and the more I browsed through it, the more shocked I felt, with memories rushing in. Namely, I used to work so much. I would give four to five training-days per week, with squeezing all the meetings, preparations, mediations, writing articles and handouts into the remaining time. I basically did not...
Committing to Full Understanding

Trainer Tip Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. —Phyllis Diller Recently I visited my parents and I offered to take down their Christmas decorations for them. I offered because they are elderly, and I know how difficult it is for them to do certain tasks. This would meet my need to contribute to their lives. My father responded to my request by saying, in a tone I heard as impatience:...
Demands vs Requests

Trainer Tip "Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy" ——Ralph Waldo Emerson When you demand that someone do something, their only choice is to succumb or rebel; they either do what you asked or they don’t. Sometimes, a demand can look like a request. You say, “Honey, will you please mow the lawn today?” It sounds like a request, but notice what happens if your partner says,...
Power Over vs. Power With

Trainer Tip Nothing is unthinkable, nothing impossible to the balanced person, provided it arises out of the needs of life and is dedicated to life’s further developments. —Lewis Mumford "Power over" refers to people using their power or authority to get what they want. Examples include corporate leaders who wield their power to influence legislation that benefits them and parents who use...