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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?” Faux Feeling Feeling(s) Need(s) Abandoned...
Embracing Your Emotions

Access this complete 3 session course In his poem, "The Guest House," Rumi invites us to welcome all of our emotions as "guides from beyond." This short 3 session course, discover how to honor the wisdom that anger, fear, shame, depression and other BIG emotions have for you. This class is all about emotional literacy, emotional intelligence and understanding your emotions for the messengers...
Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions

Do your emotions ever feel overwhelming or out of control? You’re not alone. In this heartfelt video, Mary Mackenzie shares a simple yet transformative technique inspired by Nonviolent Communication (NVC) that helped her move past the fear of feeling too much. By setting a timer, Mary discovered a practical way to fully experience emotions—whether it’s sadness, worry, or joy—without becoming...
Don't Just Feel Your Emotions

To keep our life energy moving and growing we can find the resources to welcome and accompany various parts of ourselves with compassion and love -- as though these parts are very young children. And even if these parts contain difficult emotions... Read this trainer tip Keywords: inner parts emotional resilience resilience self empathy compassionate witness parts work inner work emotions...
Observation, Feelings, Needs, and Requests (OFNR) Communication Components

Observation vs. Evaluation/Judgment Observation is awareness of what we perceive with our senses – sight, sound, touch, taste, smell — and also of our thoughts (images, words, concepts, evaluations). In language, we can describe purely what we are observing (i.e. words we hear, actions we see from our subjective frame of reference) separate from words that evaluate (e.g. liking or disliking,...
The Cause of Our Feelings

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. I am quite clear that nothing external to me is the cause of my feelings, and it seems also quite clear that my thoughts (beliefs and perceptions) are the cause of my feelings. Yet in NVC the cause is said to be our unmet needs. Yet again I have also heard NVC trainers say that we...
Feelings, the Second Component of Compassionate Communication

Trainer Tip Resolve to find thyself; and to know that he who finds himself, loses his misery. —Matthew Arnold Many of us were taught to think and not feel. We may have been taught to consider how others feel, but few of us were taught to check in with ourselves—to notice how we feel about things, such as how we feel when we’re with someone, how we feel when we do something, or what we could do...
Make Peace With All Your Feelings

Yvette Erasmus suggests that making peace with our feelings reduces suffering. Sometimes we want to hurry through our feelings and just feel better. A nonviolent way of working with our feelings is to be present as our feelings change. We will notice that as needs are more met or unmet, our feelings will change. Instead of asking why I feel this way, ask what is this feeling telling me....
Evaluations vs. Feelings

Trainer Tip The situation is critical . . . but not serious. —Sonia Choquette Has someone ever said to you, “I feel like you just don’t care about me!” or “I feel you are not being honest” or “I feel manipulated, betrayed, judged.” All of these statements reflect an evaluation that someone is having about another person. Someone who says “I feel like you don’t care” may be saying this because...
Building A Feelings Vocabulary

Trainer Tip Fortunately, analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. —Karen Horney Many years ago, I was so disconnected from myself that it was difficult for me to identify or express my feelings. At the time, I worked with a therapist who took the time to teach me a feelings vocabulary. I would tell her what happened, and she...