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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Timing of a request

Trainer Tip ". . . Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change. Their articulation represents a complete, lived experience." ——Ingrid Bengis It is important to keep a few things in mind when we make a request of someone. It helps to make the request specific. If it seems vague to you, it will probably be vague to the other person. It also helps to make the request doable. If you...
How the 'Stimulus or Cause' Principle Relates to Blame, Anger & Violence

Trainer Tip Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs. —Charlotte Brontë Violence is a result of thinking that others caused our pain and deserve to be punished. When living from this consciousness, we believe that our anger is justified. Consider road rage. A driver who engages in it believes that the other person is driving badly or is trying to tick...
Self-Empathy

Watch this video with Jim Manske to explore the practice of Self-Empathy through a different lens. Included is a unique four-step Self-Empathy process that culminates in a focus of gratitude. The four-step process of Self-Empathy as seen by Jim Manske is: Recognizing that you need Self-Empathy (tuning into physical sensations, emotions and self-talk). Self-acceptance (looking at what upsets you...
An Introduction to Self-Empathy and Focusing

In this brief video, Certified Trainer and Inner Relationship Focusing Guide and teacher, Gina Cenciose, teaches that our inner relationship is the basis for both Focusing and NVC work. In NVC, the process of Self-Empathy involves connecting to our feelings and needs. Focusing (also referred to as Inner Relationship Focusing), brings your attention to your body sense which creates additional...
Keeping The Focus On Ourselves

Trainer Tip The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands, and then work outward from there —Robert M. Pirsig Sometimes it takes three hours of empathy to prepare for a one-hour meeting. We all have times when we anticipate that a meeting or conversation might be challenging. I used to prepare for these moments by telling myself, “Buck up— you’ll get through it.”...
Understanding How Shame Hinders Clear Requests

It may be challenging to hear or make requests when you feel shame regarding anyone's feelings and needs. Without support, shame could be debilitating, so you may feel resistant and become defensive, hear threat, or criticize others. Instead, be with people who allow space for vulnerability. Find ways to celebrate, negotiate, be mindful, accepting, and creative. Read this article Keywords:...
Cultivating Gratitude

1. Write down something specific someone did that made your life more wonderful. (This gives you practice making observations.) 2. Write down what need that action contributed to. (This helps build needs vocabulary and needs consciousness.) 3. Write down how you feel RIGHT NOW, as you write the gratitude. (This helps build feelings vocabulary and feelings awareness.) 4. Savor the feeling. (This...
Enjoying The Process

Trainer Tip I have come to the conclusion, after many years of sometimes-sad experience, that you cannot come to any conclusion at all. —Vita Sackville-West In Compassionate Communication we strive to stop judging situations and people. Instead, we look at how we feel and whether our needs are met For example, if our partnership does not meet our need for intimacy, we talk with our partner...
The Magic and Mechanics of Lasting Love

Access this complete 5 session course Lasting Love – The Magic and Mechanics is a uniquely powerful course that blends NVC with Dr. Sue Johnson’s empirically validated work on adult love relationships called EFCT: Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. Mukti invites you to re-think your inner definition of love and attachment. You’ll gradually learn to recognize your unique “dance of distress”...
How to Stay Calm During a Pandemic (COVID-19)

As social beings we thrive with social contact and community. Thus, with the social isolation and a loss of routine that is happening in the COVD-19 pandemic, there are three critical areas to keep in mind everyday: emotional-physiological regulation, self-empathy for fear and anxiety, and meaningful engagement. Read this article Keywords: COVID-19 covid coronavirus pandemic anxiety fear...