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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Judging Feelings

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, Is it a good idea to use NVC on persistent guilt, anger or depression without the aid of others? — B.N., Massachusetts, USA Trainer Answer Listen to the Audio above for the complete trainer answer. Keywords: feelings argument connection dialogue inspiration listening personal growth conflict resolution relationships Family Conflict family communication partnership...
Interrupt Emotional Shut Down

In times of stress, some part of you may still hold the belief that you can't be present for the stressor and survive. Some part of you may believe you have to go away. There are three things you can consider when attempting to intervene with the reactive pattern of shutting down: how you relate to the shutting down, access to self-confidence, and engagement. Read on for more. Read this article...
Exercise: Connecting Sensations to Emotions and Needs

Puzzling about needs and feelings? Check out this excerpt from Dian Killian's course, Embracing the Body: Somatic Self Empathy, where she leads participants through an exercise that demonstrates how our physical sensations connect us to our feelings and needs. Keywords: feelings needs sensations universal human needs Dian Killian
Reframing OFNR (Observation, Feelings, Needs, and Requests) for the Workplace

Listen in as Dian presents the Four Steps of Collaborative Communication using everyday words you might hear at work: What is happening / what are you seeing or hearing? What is the impact internally for the people involved? What is driving the situation at a core level? and What will move the situation forward? Keywords: expression honesty presence strategies connection dialogue intention...
Mediating Conflict Conversations with Observation, Feeling, Need, and Request

Mediating a conflict conversation can be challenging – but with tools and practice, that challenge can be transformed. If you're curious about the specific steps needed to achieve that transformation, join John for an exploration of his non-dual mindfulness practice, grounded on NVC's core components of: Observation Feeling Need Request John leads a thoughtful role-playing demonstration...
Alarm Feelings

Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 10

One of the most important things you can do to live a meaningful and rewarding life filled with vitality is reclaim your emotions. When you reclaim your emotions, you rescue yourself from the numb and deadening state of “fine” and from the dependence on alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, and countless other addictions to feel more alive. Expressing your emotions in nature is one to reclaim your...
Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

Two of the most supportive things parents can do for their children are healing their own attachment trauma (thereby further developing their own neural pathways for emotional regulation and secure attachment) and reclaiming disowned parts. The more that parents do these two things, the wider their windows of tolerance will be for big emotions, intense experiences, and difficult situations, and...
Self-Empathy Regulation Process

If you are aware that your amygdala is activated, that you are in fight/flight or freeze and struggling to stay connected and compassionate with yourself or another, You can connect to your prefrontal cortex, regulate your upset, and find a healthy response to the situation by observing your breath, thoughts, and sensations; feeling and expressing your emotions; and connecting to your needs...
Judging and Feeling Judged

In this short but potent audio, expert CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan demonstrates the eye-opening experience of translating our judgments into needs. She uses this process in working with a mother who is stuck in a loop of feeling judged by family members and judging them back. It is powerful to hear Miki guide this mother toward looking at each judgment until she can reveal the true...