Browse by Topic

NVC Resources on Feelings

Search Terms:

Advanced Search

Select Media Type, Click Search

Financial Freedom and Integrity

Access this complete 8 session course “We went from food stamps to financial independence in 8 years two decades ago! We continue to learn and integrate many skills for nurturing all aspects of well-being including personal and spiritual values, work, family and play. We now spend our lives doing work we love and supporting others in creating the lives they want for themselves. We are eager to...
Forming, Uniting and Nurturing NVC Communities

Does your workplace convey a sense of “community?” And how does that sense of community you feel at work differ from what’s present at your church, your sangha or dojo? What about the neighborhood where you live? Do you ever find yourself taking your community for granted? And – what can YOU do to support and grow “community” wherever you find it? The word “community” is so fluid, it’s hard to...
Avoiding “Right Fights”

Trainer Tip In managing human affairs there is no better rule than self-restraint. —Lao Tzu When we are angry, we are at a crossroads. In that moment, we can work toward a resolution or we can work toward escalation. Say that your partner asks you to drive and then he tells you what turns to make and where to park. You may feel irritated about this and want to chew him out. Why? Because you...
Going Deep

I use the exercise below in many of my Nonviolent Communication (NVC) workshops. I call it "Peeling the Layers of the Onion." It illustrates a process for uncovering the Universal Human Needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling. Introduction: Needs vs Strategies One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are...
Tragic Expressions of Unmet Needs

Trainer Tip Speech is a mirror of the soul: as a man speaks, so is he. —Pubilius Syrus Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D., who developed the Compassionate Communication process, uses the phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” to illustrate how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. The copy machine doesn’t work, so you hit it and scream at it. I’m guessing you’re frustrated...
Comparing Ourselves to Others

Trainer Tip Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them? —Rose Kennedy Comparisons are a form of judgment. There always seems to be someone who is better looking, more intelligent or more enlightened than we are. Similarly, there seems to be an endless supply of people who are not as bright as we, who are worse drivers, and who are less...
Demands vs Requests

Trainer Tip "Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy" ——Ralph Waldo Emerson When you demand that someone do something, their only choice is to succumb or rebel; they either do what you asked or they don’t. Sometimes, a demand can look like a request. You say, “Honey, will you please mow the lawn today?” It sounds like a request, but notice what happens if your partner says,...
Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Trainer Tip "Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love" —Don Miguel Ruiz How do you hear other people? In Nonviolent Communication, we see four possible ways to hear any message: 1. Judging or blaming others: You never think about my needs, or You’re always late. 2. Judging or blaming ourselves: I...
Meeting Our Need for Creativity

Trainer Tip "Now that this growth and expansion has started, I am unable to stop it. I feel no boundaries within myself, no walls, no fears. Nothing holds me back from adventure. I feel mobile, fluid..." —Anaïs Nin I used to think that I wasn’t creative because I didn’t draw or paint in ways that I enjoyed. Today I notice that I meet my need for creativity in a number of ways. When I write...
Enjoying Your Life

Trainer Tip While others may argue about whether the world ends with a bang or a whimper, I just want to make sure mine doesn’t end with a whine. —Barbara Gordon The surest way to enjoy life is to do things that meet our needs. If we don’t enjoy a particular activity, let’s consider the need we hope to meet by doing it. Recently, I had a number of projects with looming deadlines that were...