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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Tip: Demystifying Empathy Guesses

Here's a quick tip to improve your empathy skills with empathy guessing. You can download the feeling and needs lists using the links above. For a more complete look at empathy guessing, check out Dian's full introductory session called Empathy Magic. {attachment:all} Keywords: empathic presence empathic guess listening empathy guess empathy Dian Killian
Listen to the Universe

Listen to the Universe is a fun group exercise to explore how we focus our attention and interpret what we experience. How it is played: Ask for a volunteer and ask them to leave the room. Brainstorm possible tasks for the volunteer while the volunteer is out of hearing distance. Start with a fairly easy task the first time. Ideas for easy tasks might include: taking someone's shoe off, picking...
Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

Trainer Tip It seems obvious to me right now that rhetoric and blaming don’t solve anything. —D.W., prison inmate Sometimes, it just seems easier for us to blame others for our choices. We think that if we place the blame on someone else, we won’t look as bad. Our primary motivation may be the desire to be accepted and valued; however, it’s an awkward strategy to meet those needs. If we don’t...
Meeting Our Need for Rest

Trainer Tip "The body does not lie." —Martha Graham I was astounded to discover that a friend of mine renews herself by being with people. She feels more restful and relaxed when she is with people than when she is alone. I, on the other hand, meet my need for rest when I am alone and quiet. I spend much of my work life listening and talking with people, which I enjoy very much. However, when...
Myths Of Power With

The terms power-over and power-with were coined in 1924 by a woman who has mostly been forgotten – Mary Parker Follett, while writing and lecturing about management theory and practice. Her approach, which centered on human relations and collaboration between management and workers, stood in stark contrast to the mainstream management practices of her day, which were rooted in what was then...
Empowering Kids Under Current Systems of Domination

Join Aya Caspi as she delves into the difficult topic of parenting, childhood trauma, and social status. She discusses the generational impact of being labeled by society as "less than" or subservient. The wounds of childhood trauma can be healed so they no longer are a means of control by a dominant culture. Childhood trauma has a significant impact on a person. Often a person feels inferior...
How to Make Requests with Confidence

Before you make a request you can connect fully to a time when your need was met. Notice how your request feels and sounds different from this place of aliveness. Excitement about meeting a need implies confidence and trust about moving forward together. Offer an invitation to find strategies that work for both of you. Read this practice exercise Keywords: request demand collaboration LaShelle...
The Power of Making Requests

Mary Mackenzie explores the fourth component of Nonviolent Communication—making requests—and why it feels like “graduate level” NVC. Asking for what we truly want is vulnerable, yet it’s also a profound gift of honesty and connection in our relationships. With practice, compassion, and creativity, we can build the skills to make requests that deepen trust, foster understanding, and open new...
Considering the Needs of Other People

Trainer Tip If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed. —Kate Halverson If you only focus on what you want, you are only halfway there. One of the basic principles of Nonviolent Communication is valuing everyone’s needs equally. Remember that needs are the underlying reasons why we do things. You might go to the store to pick up food to feed your family. Your need is to feed...
Integrity

Trainer Tip The time is always right to do what is right. —Martin Luther King Jr. What does integrity mean to you? Each person has a different definition. For me, integrity means that I live in harmony with my values. If you value freedom of expression, working for a bureaucratic organization will probably not meet your need for integrity. If you value predictability, you might not want to play...