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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Staying in the Present

Trainer Tip "Never let yesterday use up today." ——R.H. Nelson How often do you worry about the future or fret about the past? Usually if we are in anguish, it’s because we’re not in the present. Let’s say you’re worrying about how to pay your rent. Is it due today? If not, you’re worrying about the future. Is there anything you can do today to help you pay the rent when it’s due? If so, do it....
Self Connection in the Turbulent Times of COVID-19

Read on for a demonstration of self empathy -- all generated within the context of both the COVID-19 pandemic, and the changes to Bridget's life that have arisen as a result. "Every day the amount of change has been so huge! Each day lately has felt like a week or even a month. Why? Because the amount of change every day has been so huge. Change to our home lives. Change to our work lives....
Letting People Support Us

Trainer Tip "No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy" —Thomas Fuller, M.D. Some time ago I was in a serious car accident. I spent three nights in the Intensive Care Unit. When I got out of the hospital, I needed someone to stay with me for a few weeks because my brain wasn’t working properly and I couldn’t be trusted to make sound decisions. Through...
Acting in Accordance With Our Values

Trainer Tip A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. —Oscar Wilde We’re not perfect. Sometimes we say and do things we regret later. I used to feel somewhat justified when I snapped at a grocery clerk, or if I cut someone off in traffic. After all, they didn’t know me, right? Now I know that every action we take has an impact. The nature of the...
You’re Not Too Much

Trainer Tip Listen to your own Self. If you listen to that Self within, then you find the Truth. —Kabir I used to feel guilty if I had a need that somebody else didn’t have. I told myself that if I wanted intimacy and my partner didn’t, then there must be something wrong with me. Or, if I wanted fun and my partner wanted to rest, then I was too much, too needy, or too selfish. It did not occur...
Keeping Our Perspective

Trainer Tip Every man has a right to be valued by his best moment. —Ralph Waldo Emerson One of my clients recently told me of a situation at her office. She had just completed her third year with her organization. She had received exemplary annual reviews every previous year. She made a mistake a few weeks earlier that caused the company to lose money, and she was reprimanded harshly. Her...
Living Our Values

Trainer Tip We live in a vastly complex society which has been able to provide us with a multitude of material things, and this is good, but people are beginning to suspect that we have paid a high spiritual price for our plenty. —Euell Gibbons Sometimes I wish everyone else would just make it easy for me to live my values. If other people would just do their part, I wouldn’t have to work so...
Living Peacefully, Starting With Our Physical Selves

Trainer Tip Our physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. We give it orders which make no sense. —Henry Miller I spent years abusing my physical self with alcohol, cigarettes, and food. I believe I do not live peacefully if I am not at peace with my body. I have not had a cigarette in twelve years, or alcohol in seven years, yet I still struggle to feed my body...
Striving for Win-Win Resolutions

Trainer Tip In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. —Albert Einstein In Nonviolent Communication, we strive for win-win resolutions. That means that no one loses. We don’t decide things by the majority, because that would mean that the minority loses. Compromise is similar. In fact, in a compromise both people could feel dissatisfied with the resolution because it usually involves an...
Sustaining Our World

Trainer Tip This is how a human being can change: There’s a worm addicted to eating grape leaves. Suddenly, he wakes up, call it grace, whatever, Something wakes him, and he’s no longer a worm. He’s the entire vineyard, and the orchard too, The fruit, the trunks, a growing wisdom and joy That doesn’t need to devour. —Rumi The world’s people are consuming its resources at an alarming rate. We...