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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Bringing Peace to Kids in Conflict

Access this complete 6 session course This 6-session course recording focuses on supporting people who work with children (e.g. parents, teachers, ministers, etc.) in applying the skills of NVC mediation in conflict situations that involve children. Listen to this telecourse recording and learn to: Understand and modulate your emotions (self-regulation) Recognize when children are emotionally...
Connecting To Your Needs in Relationships

Trainer Tip Whoever is happy will make others happy too. —Anne Frank Many people evaluate their relationships based on their perception of how the other person feels. I did this for years. I would decide that a relationship was good or bad based on whether my partner was enjoying it. This left me feeling insecure and confused. A more effective way to evaluate relationships is to check in with...
Identify 12 Essential Aspects of Empathy

Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies six Skills, along with specific practices for learning each. (For more context about MCD Relationship Competency 2: Empathy, see Skill #1: Identify the differences between empathy and other responses to difficulty, Skill #2: Identify what prevents you from offering empathy, and Skill #3: Use a diverse vocabulary of feelings and needs.) Empathy is a...
Naturalizing NVC Language

Access this complete 7 session course Learn to speak NVC using your own voice and increase ease and flow in all your personal and professional conversations. This 7-session telecourse recording with renowned trainer Miki Kashtan is designed to help you integrate NVC into all aspects of your life by gaining fluency in your practice of NVC and by embodying the principles regardless of the words...
How to Handle Being Judged

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me, that has nothing to do with the other person. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance). For example, when someone makes a comment such as: "Boy it's taking you a long time to get moved in," or, "Oh, it's not noon yet! I...
Making NVC Relevant to a World in Crisis

Access this complete 3 session course 2020 added three major global crises to our long and painful list of ongoing challenges: Public health crisis emerging from the Coronavirus infecting humans; Governance crisis manifesting especially in global protests against police brutality and governments more generally; and Economic crisis unfolding from responses to the pandemic. And as a result, many...
Creating an Internal Secure Base

We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and...
Listening Beyond the Words

What do we do when someone speaks to us in a way that doesn’t feel respectful? In this video, Oren Jay Sofer explores how NVC invites us to listen for the feelings and needs behind harsh or judgmental words — not because we “should,” but because it gives us more choice and freedom in how we respond. You’ll also learn when it might serve to empathize first, and when it may be time to set clear...
Self-Empathy

Trainer Tip When you really listen to yourself, you can heal yourself. —Ceanna DeRohan It is true that we cannot fully understand other people until we understand ourselves. I tried to escape this for years. I told people that I was a caring and loving person. But deep down, I struggled to feel compassion. I was consumed with anger, resentment, and an overriding belief that I was never going to...
Using Therapeutic Communication to Connect with Patients

Often patients need enough emotional space to reduce any inner stuckness in their situation. They need to do this before they can adequately absorb information or effectively take next steps. Empathy can help with this. Empathy requires an intention to connect non-judgmentally. This gets better with practice. Read on for examples of how a situation can play out with, and without, empathy. And...