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NVC Resources on Needs

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Going Deep

I use the exercise below in many of my Nonviolent Communication (NVC) workshops. I call it "Peeling the Layers of the Onion." It illustrates a process for uncovering the Universal Human Needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling. Introduction: Needs vs Strategies One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are...
Distinguishing Universal Needs from Strategies

In this excerpt from their book, CHOICE: A field guide for navigating the polarization of our world and living interdependently, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between universal needs and strategies. Universal Needs Essential life qualities Needs are the essence of life, the miraculous qualities that spark my thoughts, speech, and all my actions. This...
The Needs Underneath a Need for Fairness

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I'm practicing with "transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need." In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with "fairness." However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath "fairness." Here is my process so far: Observation: I asked Jesse to help enter data sheets, and he spent the last twenty minutes...
Needs, the Third Component of Compassionate Communication

Trainer Tip There are so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without significance. —1 Corinthians 14:10 In Compassionate Communication, we consider needs to be universal. That means that while we all have the same needs, such as for love, support, shelter, food, joy, caring, etc. (refer to the needs list in the front of the book), we choose different ways to meet our needs....
Connecting to Humanity

Trainer Tip See into life—don’t just look at it. —Anne Baxter Consider the possibility that everyone on the planet has the same basic needs—that in fact, having the same needs is part of what makes us human. We all need love, shelter, food, water, connection, fulfillment, and to be valued. In each household, culture, or country, the ways we go about meeting these needs might vary, but not the...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 12

For many, the word “need” is associated with lack, neediness, and scarcity. These associations are the opposite of the meaning of needs in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In NVC, needs are the motivational energy of our innate wholeness and desire to grow, like the energy of a plant pushing it up through the soil and toward the sun. The conditioning most of us grew up with has tricked us into...
Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

I. Assumptions Underlying the Practice of Nonviolent Communication Following are key assumptions that NVC practice is based on. Many traditions share these assumptions; NVC gives us concrete, powerful tools for putting them into practice. When we live based on these assumptions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy. All human beings share the same...
Needs

Needs: A Foundation of Inner Freedom, Empowerment and Peace The human needs we all share are the foundation of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process because it is in connecting to needs that we find inner freedom, empowerment and compassion. Unfortunately, many people have negative associations with the word “need" such as needy, weak, selfish, dependent and so on. These associations come...
A Talk About Needs

“Everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need,” says CNVC Certified Trainer Mary Mackenzie. This simple statement is a foundational understanding in Nonviolent Communication; once you gain skills at living in a “needs-consciousness” you will literally change your life and your perception of the world, and improve all of your relationships. Listen to this audio to learn the value...
The Difference Between Needs and Requests

Trainer Tip When our needs are not being fulfilled, we follow the expression of what we are observing, feeling, and needing with a specific request: we ask for actions that might fulfill our needs. —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. In Nonviolent Communication, we see needs as universal. That means that everyone has the same needs for love, support, connection, resources, food, shelter, etc. A...