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NVC Resources on Needs

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Beyond Right and Wrong

In this vintage NVC video, Bridget Belgrave uses a Powerpoint presentation to demonstrate the key principles of Nonviolent Communication. Starting with needs at the center, Bridget builds a visual structure of the NVC process. The exercise is a three-step process: 1. Think of a time when someone was driving you a bit crazy 2. Write down one jackal statement 3. Identify the need that was hard to...
Key Facts About Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

Read this article The first page is a title page, please scroll down to read the article. From the bedroom to the boardroom, from the classroom to the war zone, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is changing lives every day. NVC provides an easy to grasp, effective method to get to the root of violence, pain and conflict peacefully. By examining the unmet needs behind what we do or say, NVC helps...
The Value of Taking a Step Back

Keys to Have a “Fight to the Life” Instead of “to the Death” Have you ever gotten a fishing line all tangled up? You got so frustrated you just started yanking on the different loops of line, which of course made the knots and tangles even tighter and more difficult to untangle. Wouldn’t it be great if you could notice the minute you were starting to tangle things up in a discussion with your...
Aligning Our Strategies with Our Values

Trainer Tip Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead. —Chinese proverb What do you value most? Do your actions match your values? I used to think that I valued integrity more than anything, yet I went to work every day for five years at a job I hated. I thought that I valued friendships but it just didn’t seem convenient to be present when friends were in dire straits....
Viewing Needs Through an Equity Lens

"All humans share the same needs" -- tragically, this idea can hide the reality that some people with less power in society have needs that go unmet to a greater extent, much longer, and with more dire consequences. Often, when they marginalized bring up experiences related to their membership in a certain group, their pain isn't acknowledged, and focus shifts to the listener's discomfort. The...
I Want to Repair a Relationship, But I am Scared

Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs....
Feelings and Needs Reference Guide

Feelings and Needs form the cornerstone of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), offering a profound framework for cultivating empathy, compassion, and authenticity in our interactions. This comprehensive 9-page Feelings and Needs Reference Guide is designed to support you in integrating these vital concepts into your daily life. By embracing the principles of feelings and needs, we pave the way for...
Exercise: Connecting Sensations to Emotions and Needs

Puzzling about needs and feelings? Check out this excerpt from Dian Killian's course, Embracing the Body: Somatic Self Empathy, where she leads participants through an exercise that demonstrates how our physical sensations connect us to our feelings and needs. Keywords: feelings needs sensations universal human needs Dian Killian
What’s Important to You?

For me this exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. I experience it as wonderfully alive. It's also an opportunity for people to build connection with one another. It has worked well for a variety of different groups, whatever the age level, history or current life challenges. I usually use a flipchart or a whiteboard....
Observation, Feelings, Needs, and Requests (OFNR) Communication Components

Observation vs. Evaluation/Judgment Observation is awareness of what we perceive with our senses – sight, sound, touch, taste, smell — and also of our thoughts (images, words, concepts, evaluations). In language, we can describe purely what we are observing (i.e. words we hear, actions we see from our subjective frame of reference) separate from words that evaluate (e.g. liking or disliking,...