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Conflict Evolution Policy

is to use conflict as a stimulus to personal growth, more open and honest relationships, and life-affirming change. It mentions using NVC skills such as self connection, empathy, honesty, and requests (and protective use of force as last resort) to navigate the conflict with an intention of connection. Read this article Keywords: conflict organization policy Jim Manske
Talking About The Past And Effective Relationship Repair

and making a plan to do something differently next time. When you have enough empathy to find care and curiosity for them, reflect the other person's observation, thoughts, feelings, needs and requests. Focus on this more than on details of the event. Read this practice exercise Keywords: repair communication conflict reconcile apology LaShelle Lowe-Charde Elia Lowe Charde
Working With Perceptions Of Abandonment

and curiosity. Check in with your interpretations, feelings, and needs. Reach out for support. This can help dissolve feelings of reactivity and allow perspective. You are then able to make requests of yourself about what you’d like to do differently in the future to honor for your needs when making a choice. Read this practice exercise Keywords: abandonment loneliness rejection LaShelle...
Four Types of Feedback

Trainer Tip Here are four different ways you may offer feedback, followed by the four ways you can hear any message: What's wrong? Destructive Criticism: Demeaning, depreciative, punitive intending to tear a person down. What's right? Constructive Criticism: Timely, sympathetic, supportive, explicit, instructive, problem-solving, intending to build the person up. Feedback by demonstration: We...
Embracing Jackal Thoughts

Ask the Trainer Hello Trainer, If all jackals are thoughts, are all thoughts jackals? In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals. Even if we think, "it's a beautiful day," are we in jackal? Or is it more our judgmental and blaming thoughts which are jackals? Can it be said that when we are in our heads and thinking, we are in jackal...
NVC and Inner Relationship Focusing

In this inspiring video, Gina Cenciose, Certified Trainer and Inner Relationship Focusing Guide and Instructor, offers an in-depth view of the distinctions and similarities between NVC and Inner Relationship Focusing (also known as IRF and Focusing). Included in the video are: Two guided exercises: Sensing into the Qualities of Presence in the Body A Guided Focusing Attunement Discussion of the...
NVC as Spiritual Practice

Access this complete 4 session course This 4 session course recording offers practices while exploring the relationship between the core elements of NVC and universal spiritual principles. A primary template for the class is using the four NVC components of Observation, Feeling, Need, and Request to support meditative presence and awareness, in conjunction with four universal spiritual...
What Could I Say or Do When Someone Does Not Talk?

Ask the Trainer Hello, I am familiar with NVC, having read the main book and several of the booklets, and find the concepts very heartening. However, I do have a bit of a challenge that I hope you can help me with. Can you give me advice on what to do when people won't talk to me? I find it very difficult to discover what their needs are that aren't being met! Also, how can I be effective with...
Bringing the Topic of a Conversation Back to Your Needs

Trainer Tip “I think patience is what love is,” he said, “because how could you love somebody without it?” —Jane Howard You pop into your colleague’s office to say hi and ask what time it is. He offers a lengthy dissertation on how clocks work. You think you could walk out the door without him noticing, but deep down, you respect him and you want to maintain a cordial relationship. On the other...
Expressing Ourselves Honestly

Trainer Tip "We never know how high we are—till we are called to rise." —Emily Dickinson You have something that you want to say to someone, but you’re worried they won’t enjoy hearing it. What do you do? Say it anyway or keep it to yourself to maintain peace in the relationship? If you bottle it up, you will begin to resent the other person, so being honest is the best way to maintain the...