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NVC Resources on Requests

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NVC LIfe Hacks 11

Underlying much of our communication is a request: when we say something, we're usually expecting something else — perhaps something subtle — in return. Let's look at how to make requests clearer and more do-able, avoiding the pitfall of demands. Keywords: trainer tips requests demands doable request Shantigarbha Warren
Facilitating Connection

because it gives them the gift of knowing how they can contribute back to us. Personal practices for facilitating connection: Consider what need(s) might be addressed for you by using connecting requests and when you might use them. While in conversation, consider what you or others want back after they speak. Would a connecting request be helpful? How might you express that? Practices for...
Practice Relationship Repair - Turning Connection into Clear Agreements

you have found mutual care and connection regarding each other’s feelings and needs, you can begin brainstorming and negotiating requests to help care for needs in a future similar situation. You know you are ready for this step when you experience a sense of mutual care and respect, and have hope regarding a new way forward. Here are some important things to remember about committing to new...
The Key to Getting Your Needs Met

Clear, actionable requests are vital for fulfilling needs and maintaining relationships. In NVC, a true request differs from a demand by honoring both parties’ needs equally. Effective requests are specific, present, positive, and doable, and using them strengthens connection, prevents resentment, and promotes mutual understanding. Here are three key skills to making effective requests and...
NVC Life Hacks 40

good at identifying when communication breaks down but not so good at finding out what went wrong and how we can improve. In this NVC Life Hack, we take a look at different types of communication requests and how they play out in a role play. Keywords: Trainer Tip Shantigarbha Warren role play requests connection requests
Specificity Is the Key

Trainer Tip No legacy is so rich as honesty. —William Shakespeare Do you sometimes feel frustrated about situations in your life, while being too embarrassed to make a specific request, or perhaps annoyed because you’d really like the other person to “just get it”? I recognize this dynamic when I hear someone say to her partner, “I want you to help out more around the house.” Often when someone...
Being Yourself And Asking For What You Want

advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a heart connection with others. Read this article Keywords: request practice relationship building Appreciation Connecting request Understanding...
Meeting Our Needs

what he might say. Worse yet, you could end up resenting him for years about this incident, and he would never have the opportunity to understand why your relationship has changed. When we make requests, we can resolve situations before they escalate. Everyone benefits when we are clear about what we would like. Notice if you have unmet needs today, consider what it will take to meet them, and...
Not Trusting the “Yes”

2-part audio series, Miki demonstrates how to stay in a dialogue when you don’t trust someone’s “yes,” how to equalize power between people and how to allow space for others to say “no” to our requests. In this 2-part audio series, Miki demonstrates how to stay in a dialogue when you don't trust someone's "yes," how to equalize power between people and how to allow space for others to say "no"...
Street Giraffe Tips

and enjoy greater connection and joy. Although this video is brief, it is packed with suggestions for using "street giraffe," including: Tips for developing a natural NVC "voice" New ways to make requests in common everyday language Shifting your language to best support connection with someone A reminder that NVC is a consciousness, not merely a tool that we use in difficult situations How to...