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NVC Resources on Attention

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Naturalizing NVC Language

to feelings or needs, or people who are only comfortable with some feelings and not others. The focus of this session is removing formal references to feelings and needs while maintaining your attention on your own and others’ feelings and needs. Another goal of this session is using empathy to deepen connection with others in small increments using language that supports ease and comfort....
Protective Vs. Punitive Use Of Force

Trainer Tip When we submit to doing something solely for the purpose of avoiding punishment, our attention is distracted from the value of the action itself . . . If a worker’s performance is promoted by fear of punishment, the job gets done, but morale suffers; sooner or later, productivity will decrease. —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Our society spends a great deal of time punishing people...
Empathy And Mindfulness With Inner Conversations Of Fear And Anxiety

comfort in this. It opens me to seeing new possibilities. If you would like to practice with me, start with observing your breath. As you do this observe your mind generating thoughts. Then drop attention into allowing yourself to feel the sensations of your body, particularly the difficult sensations. Now, connect with the underlying energy of need and ask your unconscious mind for universal...
Myths Of Power With

trauma. As much as it may seem like abandoning the dream to decide to keep some people out, it seems to me that it’s more honest to recognize that sometimes we simply don’t have enough love and attention to provide to those in serious need. The art form, what makes this tragic awareness humanly bearable to me, is to maintain the true humble understanding that it’s our own limitations that make...
Creating Productive Group Gatherings

Trainer Tip I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention. —Diane Sawyer How many times have we attended meetings at work or in our personal lives that left us feeling overwhelmed, hopeless and annoyed? When we learn to clarify our needs, we create efficient and successful meetings. Several years ago, I attended a training of 60 people. One morning in...
The Lonely Trainer

to learn, after a workshop that I gave, that people are talking about me. What a great trainer I am, what a great teacher… If this happens then I know I failed, as I had been drawing their attention to me, using the workshop as a stage for my own little self-appreciative show. What I wish after a workshop is for people to forget my name, but really have their focus on themselves and their lives,...
Complex Truth-Telling And Empowered Change

webinars, and resonance demonstrations. Because, for many people, myself included, simply being vulnerable and attuned in a room full of people is a radical act. Of communing and care. Of attention and presence. And it is how we begin to unlearn the experiences of the past and begin to re-map our brains and bodies for safety in the world, in relation, in breath. So that we can feel a difficult...
Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

intention and effort. Unfortunately this is not always so easy. Once you are officially in a relationship, all you have ever learned about what it means to "be in a relationship" demands your attention and sometimes hijacks your clarity. You may find yourself having thoughts about what a good partner should or shouldn't do. You may compare yourself and your partner to standards that neither of...
Deal-Breakers and Staying with Yourself

to manage life with rules about what should or shouldn’t happen. They effectively block a genuine response to what’s true in a moment of two people interacting. Questions that direct your attention to actual experience, on the other hand, give you the information needed to discern a way forward. These questions might include: When I am triggered, how long does it take me to manage that...
Our Afghan Story Revisited

now is for us all to not remain in our heads in what we believe and how we judge right and wrong, what should or shouldn’t have been done. The learning is to continually drop awareness and attention down into our bodies and emotions, and deeper still to what we all want as human beings. Can we move towards each other in our differences and disagreements with empathic understanding, and then down...