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NVC Resources on Connection

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Getting Beyond Our Judgments So We May Connect

consciously direct your focus toward the result you want today This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. Keywords: judgement connection conflict empathy Mary Mackenzie
Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

that NVC practice is based on. Many traditions share these assumptions; NVC gives us concrete, powerful tools for putting them into practice. When we live based on these assumptions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy. All human beings share the same needs: We all have the same needs, although the strategies we use to meet these needs may differ....
Exercise For Saying "No" And Staying Connected

Ever have a hard time saying "no" to someone, or feel obligated to say yes? Here's an exercise that can help you notice where you are placing yourself as someone who "has to" say yes; the needs in the other person making the request; what you want to say "yes" to (regarding your needs and theirs) by saying "no"; what prevents you from saying "yes"; plus your request and how you might express...
To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate - How to Connect With What Matters

To help you stay connected to yourself and the other person when in challenging discussions about COVID-19 vaccines or other hot issues, without labeling others as reactive or otherwise, you can begin by tracking signs of your own reactivity to bring mindfulness onboard, then shifting your attention to universal needs; and asking to connect about it later. Read on for more. Read this article...
Using Therapeutic Communication to Connect with Patients

Often patients need enough emotional space to reduce any inner stuckness in their situation. They need to do this before they can adequately absorb information or effectively take next steps. Empathy can help with this. Empathy requires an intention to connect non-judgmentally. This gets better with practice. Read on for examples of how a situation can play out with, and without, empathy. And...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 2

There are two types of requests in the practice of Nonviolent Communication: Action Requests and Connection Requests. Both are important when working through conflict or difficult situations and for building connection. As its name suggests, an action request includes a very specific action that someone can perform to meet a need. For example, you might have needs for connection and peace of...
How to Interrupt

to interrupt your neighbor, rather than avoiding her or leaving a conversation in mid-stream — this awakens creativity and possibility inside me, and gives me hope that it's possible to create connection with others, even in situations that can seem impossible. If we are not connecting to a speaker's flow of words, interrupting the person can be a gift that will help to meet both of our needs...
Different Types of Requests

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I have heard of different types of requests from listening to various trainers, such as requests for connection, for presence, for action, for clarity, for information and so on. I am finding this list of requests helpful in connecting my needs to the actions that might meet them. Could you share a list of requests, with examples of each, and a possible strategy...
Sometimes I Can’t Get Past My Judgments

myself judging her. I asked myself, “Mary, what do you value?” The answer, as always, was, “To connect!” I was able to connect to my unmet needs in this conversation— respect, consideration, connection, and integrity. Once I was connected to them, I could simultaneously connect to this woman’s desire for fairness and consideration. That was when I could release my judgments of her, see her...
The Tao of Empathy

John introduces his Self-Connection Exercise as a mindful way of coming to awareness via OFNR. Breath: immediately observable, a reminder to observe. Body: feeling the body, awareness of sensations. Needs: an experience of wholeness that expands awareness of the totality of experience. Listen. Keywords: John Kinyon empathy tao OFNR NVC basics NVC fundamentals exercises/practices exercises self...