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NVC Resources on Intention

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The Sweetest Game in Town

cooperation and peace between us. I was also excited because I love sharing music with you." Like anything else in using NVC, the precise language is not important. What matters is the intention to express our appreciation or gratitude not in order to motivate or judge, but as a way to connect and celebrate together. If we sometimes spontaneously call out, "Good job!” let's not worry about it....
Staying Present in the Face of Conflict

Trainer Tip Each time any one of us is willing to take a foray into the land of conflict with an intention to create connection, we are taking a stand for co-operation, and for creating the awareness of our interdependence and honoring needs - not just my needs, not just your needs but the needs that enable all of us to not only survive, but to flourish in the world. In order for us to stick...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 6

dialogues and discussions, "Can I see if I understand you?" Most times, people say yes to this question. Who does not want to be understood? However, in some situations it can help to state your intention first, “It might help us work through this if I make sure I'm understanding you. Do you mind if I tell you what I have heard so far?" If the answer is yes, then say back the important things...
Moving Out of the Hallway

do things now, but it’s frightening to change because we’re not sure what will happen, and we’re not sure how to do it. Here’s my suggestion. If there’s something you’re not happy with, set the intention to change it. Just that simple act will start the change. Then try to do one thing that will further manifest it. You could empathize with someone else or yourself (listen for feelings and...
Stopping

old, popularized by the Indian Master commonly known as the Buddha. Millions of people practice it every day. To practice, find a comfortable sitting position with eyes open or closed. Set an intention to connect with yourself. I like to enjoy a few deep, conscious breaths; then focus on my breath, noticing the rise and fall of my abdomen or chest on the inhale and the exhale. Sometimes I focus...
Learn the Difference Between Observation and Observation Mixed with Evaluation

mixed with evaluation from observation, "the highest form of human intelligence." A useful exercise for me in practicing observation skills consists of mindful walking. First, setting an intention to connect with myself, I begin walking, preferably with no set direction in mind. Then I take turns opening to my senses, noticing what I see, hear, smell, taste and touch. I also notice thoughts and...
Being the Change We Seek

connect with them but I wanted them to connect with me! I had set up a difficult situation for my colleagues and myself. So, with a great deal of fear, I attended the next staff meeting with an intention of connecting. I did this for the next three staff meetings in a row. Two participants mentioned how much they appreciated my contribution to the meetings, and how much it helped everyone shift...
Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

feeling called "in love." If you pursue a deepening relationship with this person you have "fallen in love” with, your boundaries will slowly reappear and staying connected will begin to require intention and effort. Unfortunately this is not always so easy. Once you are officially in a relationship, all you have ever learned about what it means to "be in a relationship" demands your attention...
Identify 12 Essential Aspects of Empathy

feelings, or memories come to mind. How do you live or relate to each of these? 1. Empathy is a heart-based response to a heart-based expression of needs met or unmet. 2. Empathy requires the intention to connect and honor the other person’s experience as valid, regardless of how it compares to your experience. 3. Empathy is a form of responsiveness that depends on an internal sense of...
Being Persistent About Getting Our Needs Met

I hear you correctly yesterday?” “Well, yeah, but you know I came home and jumped in the shower. I meant to pick up the clothes, but then I started reading the paper and just forgot.” “So, your intention was to pick up your clothes, but then you got distracted?” “Yeah. That’s it.” “You know, when I hear that I feel annoyed because I’d really like to trust that you’ll follow through on your...