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NVC Resources on Anger

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Hidden Needs

the same, rest in opening your heart to your own need for stability, stay there until it settles, and then ask again. You stop when you are satisfied with your self-connection. Two Dimensions in Anger or Frustration The second approach is to understand that whatever you get angry or frustrated about often has two dimensions to it. One is the specific outcome or content of what happened. The...
Protective Use of Force

that you truly give. —Kahlil Gibran In most situations, if both people have a chance to be heard, peaceful resolution is possible. However, situations sometimes arise that involve imminent danger with little time for dialogue, or in which one person may not be willing to communicate. When this happens, and there is the potential for physical harm, protective use of force may be necessary—the use...
How to Interact with an Angry Practice Group Member

He responded to a CNVC staff member and myself using words I interpret as angry and hostile. The staff member responded to both of us by commenting that his words stimulated “a strong sense of anger and annoyance, needs for respect and consideration not being met.” I’d appreciate some empathy and suggestions for how I can take care of myself and how I can further cultivate NVC skills in relation...
Enemy Images

—Melody Beattie Do you harbor negative thoughts about others? Do these negative feelings affect your ability to enjoy those relationships or communicate effectively? When you foster resentment or anger toward other people, your focus is on your perceptions of the other person’s foibles. Your ability to compassionately connect to them is severely limited. True healing comes when you acknowledge...
A New Monetary System

There's a danger in using empathy exchange to perpetually recirculate and exchange pain (often by telling and re-telling the same old stories), rather than using it as a catalyst for transformation. It can create and further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, and violence. It can also reinforce dualistic evaluations of "met" vs "unmet" needs. And it...
Move in to Conflict - Don't Back Up!

you at a specific time?” It’s a simple process, really, but the rewards can be increased intimacy, joy, understanding, connection and deeper relationships. When we back away, the results are often anger, resentment, hurt, and disconnection. These feelings are similar to how you would feel if you were injured and someone walked on by instead of helping you. How about setting a goal of moving in...
Change Your Response to Conflict and Change Your Life

Access this complete 4 session course Maybe you… have challenging people in your life. are on the verge of a big decision or are avoiding a difficult conversation. feel trapped by recurring anger or pain that makes you do or say things you later regret. When you Mediate Your Life, you become more effective in everything you do. You find that you can handle any sort of conflict, including the...
Stopping

In Marshall's suggestions for working with anger, his first step is to "Stop and Breathe". I have found it useful to practice this strategy when I'm feeling otherwise than angry. This has contributed to cultivating more awareness of my choices when angry feelings and thoughts become stimulated. This is a simple variation of a technique that is at least 2500 years old, popularized by the Indian...
Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

protective use of force Safety Violence Force Social Change Gandhi Martin Luther King Dialogue Movements Social Justice Parenting Spanking Unilateral Nonviolent Resistance Jim Crow Imminent Danger Dialogue Power Impact Justice Violence Nonreactive Discernment Miki Kashtan
Bystander Intervention

to do the right thing, we bring enrichment, peace, safety, care, and justice to the world when we do. It is alarming that many times people do not do something to help others when others are in danger. Much research has been done to prove this point: that for some reason people do not help others in times of need. One famous case is the Catherine Genovese case. Catherine Genovese Case In 1964...