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NVC Resources on Conflict

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The Importance of Making Requests

Trainer Tip What would make you happy? It’s a simple question, but one with profound consequences. Asking and answering that question, then acting on it, is often our path—a path that will lead to the next step, a path that is in our best interest. —Melody Beattie Have you ever waited in a restaurant for a friend who finally shows up a half hour later than you agreed? When she walks in, you may...
Practice Relationship Repair - Turning Connection into Clear Agreements

When you have found mutual care and connection regarding each other’s feelings and needs, you can begin brainstorming and negotiating requests to help care for needs in a future similar situation. You know you are ready for this step when you experience a sense of mutual care and respect, and have hope regarding a new way forward. Here are some important things to remember about committing to...
Connected Decision Making

If you're stuck when making a decision with someone, it's likely that you've skipped hearing and connecting to one another's needs. Slow down and listen for what's really important underneath the content. This allows you to make decisions that are more fulfilling and harmonious. Read this article Keywords: practice decision problem solving finances relationship money argumen conflict resolution...
Connection, Connection, Connection

Trainer Tip "I want to connect more than I want to be right and more than I want to win!" —Mary Mackenzie Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. In these arguments we are rarely trying to connect. Being right is the name of the game. Why do we do this? For many, it is an attempt to meet needs for...
How to Enjoy Your Family Dinner

If you dread family gatherings because of family tensions, you can find ways to excavate through piles of hardened judgments and hopelessness, build on your inner strength, and engage with family conflicts with open-hearted curiosity, greater presence, and connecting with what really matters to everyone. You can transform old conflicts and "compost" new ones as they arise to prevent future...
Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

Trainer Tip "Love is the recognition of Oneness, of knowing yourself as other. The Oneness is love." —Eckhart Tolle Can you hold onto your reality while simultaneously acknowledging someone else’s reality? What I mean is, can you have an argument with your partner and speak up for your view of things, while also acknowledging his view? This ability is the ultimate goal. It eliminates right and...
Mediating with a Group

Trainer Tip "I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving." —Goethe When you mediate a group conflict, the principles of listening for needs are the same as with one-on-one conflicts. Start the mediation by telling everyone that the group will not begin looking at strategies until everyone’s needs have been heard. Dedicate the first...
Being Held And Transformed In The Formless

When we feel pain about humans relate to, and conflict with, one another on Earth what can give us capacity to transform it? Perhaps in connection to the formless consciousness of unity we may relax, open, expand -- and connect to formless human needs, a sense of universal well being, benevolence and good will. Loving action flows from here. Suffering shifts into deep healing, grace and new...
A Deep Dive into the Art of Mediation

Access this complete 5 session course Mediation as a practice in daily life is based on the assumption that the structure of two is not enough. When two people are stimulated they are less available to empathize, to see the beauty in one another. The mediator is simply a third party who is not stimulated and has the skills to help facilitate connection, cooperation, and creativity to discover...
Developing Discernment

Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share their understanding of discernment to gain clarity, insight, and wisdom for making life-serving distinctions and choices. Discernment Exercise: Using the "Four Choices" for Self-Empathy Once each day, write down a message you found difficult to hear... Imagine receiving the message and then internally responding with each of these choices: 1. Judgmental...