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NVC Resources on Conflict

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Connecting to Self

Trainer Tip To bring forth the soul of our being, we must be in our bodies, rooted to Earth, able to draw from the universal source of energy. —Diane Mariechild Have you ever tried to engage in a conversation with someone, but had to struggle to stay present? Or have you tried to resolve a conflict with someone, but spent most of the time dealing with the chatter in your own head? In my...
Connecting to Humanity

Trainer Tip See into life—don’t just look at it. —Anne Baxter Consider the possibility that everyone on the planet has the same basic needs—that in fact, having the same needs is part of what makes us human. We all need love, shelter, food, water, connection, fulfillment, and to be valued. In each household, culture, or country, the ways we go about meeting these needs might vary, but not the...
Thank You: Finding the Gift in Everything That Happens

Jim and Jori Manske share strategies for employing gratitude to create more joy in life, jettisoning the fear of asking for what you want, and welcoming feedback no matter how it is delivered. Try this thought experiment exercise designed to: Train yourself to become aware of the presence of conflict Engage in a perspective broader than your habitual reactive patterns Engage your curiosity to...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 2

There are two types of requests in the practice of Nonviolent Communication: Action Requests and Connection Requests. Both are important when working through conflict or difficult situations and for building connection. As its name suggests, an action request includes a very specific action that someone can perform to meet a need. For example, you might have needs for connection and peace of...
Going Deep

I use the exercise below in many of my Nonviolent Communication (NVC) workshops. I call it "Peeling the Layers of the Onion." It illustrates a process for uncovering the Universal Human Needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling. Introduction: Needs vs Strategies One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are...
Taking on the World

Access this complete 12 session course In this 12-session program, Miki leverages more than 30 years of passion and experience about creating change into a practical framework designed to support you in taking concrete steps toward the world of your dreams. As a participant in this program you have an opportunity to form substantial relationships with peers as you work together to address...
Setting Goals for the New Year

Trainer Tip If we ourselves remain angry and then sing world peace, it has little meaning. First, our individual self must learn peace. This we can practice. Then we can teach the rest of the world. —The Dalai Lama What do you want to focus on this year? What are your goals, hopes and dreams? It’s important to make your goals concrete and specific. Don’t just say that you want to be happier;...
How To Deal With Ourselves When We Are Less Than Perfect

Think of a stimulus -- something you did that triggers you to not think kindly of yourself. A time you made a "mistake." Write down what you said or did. Recall what you said to yourself or what you guessed you said to yourself when you made the “mistake.” Write down as much as you can remember. Mourn (Distinguish between mourning vs. blaming. Mourning is full attention focused on needs. It...
Living Our Values

Trainer Tip We live in a vastly complex society which has been able to provide us with a multitude of material things, and this is good, but people are beginning to suspect that we have paid a high spiritual price for our plenty. —Euell Gibbons Sometimes I wish everyone else would just make it easy for me to live my values. If other people would just do their part, I wouldn’t have to work so...
The Inside Job of Collaboration

Access this complete 4 session course Although we are evolutionarily designed for collaborating with others when attending to our basic needs, the weight of the systems and cultural messages we have inherited interfere. Many of us are doubtful that collaboration is possible or effective, and most of us lack both the faith and the skills to live collaboratively, regardless of cultural...