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Getting Your Needs Met

Trainer Tip We have been doing the wrong things for the right reasons. —Melody Beattie I once heard a parable about a woman who went to the hardware store every day and asked for a gallon of milk. Every day the clerk would tell her that she was in a hardware store that didn’t carry milk and suggested she try the grocery store down the street. As time went on, she returned angrier and more...
What’s Important to You?

thought patterns and language like these phrases?" This question then leads me naturally to a discussion about disconnects (conditioned or habitual behaviours and language like diagnosis, demands, deserve, denial of responsibility, etc.). Both the needs list and the list of jackal phrases are left visible to the group for the duration of the workshop and often referenced. Sometimes a group...
The Tao of Empathy

“The Chinese philosopher, Chuang-Tzu, stated that true empathy requires listening with the whole being: ‘…it demands the emptiness of all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens. There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with the ear or understood with the mind.'" --Excerpt from Nonviolent Communication: A...
Peace Starts At Home

and includes experiential integration as well as easy-to-remember insights. Session Topics: 1. Dialogue as a Way of Life: a. Recognizing and going beyond either/or thinking b. Shifting from demands to requests c. Shifting from agreement to empathy d. Asking for everything and always telling the truth in response to requests 2. The Inner Building Blocks of Creating Peace: a. Living in Peace with...
Transforming Complaint

refine your spiritual clarity: Do you intend to connect in the service of compassionate giving and receiving? Are your Present, Aware? Focused on “From Now On?” Are you Open to Outcome, free of demands? If yes to all three, follow the requests as they arise within you... If no, self-empathy or empathy until you “get to Zero”. Here’s one empathic process to support “Zeroing”. PART 1 From...
Naturalizing NVC Language

express yourself to fit the moment. Session 5: Holding Awareness of NVC Consciousness Often, when we attempt to naturalize our language, we end up slipping back into a language of judgments and demands just so that we can sound “normal” to those with whom we are talking. The focus of this session is translating judgments – your own and those you hear - in a relaxed manner, without taking them on...
The Presence Of Hearing Someone Deeply

hearing that is only in the ears is one thing. The hearing of the understanding is another. But the hearing of the spirit is not limited to any one faculty, to the ear, or to the mind. Hence it demands the emptiness of all the faculties. And when the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens. There is then a direct grasp of what is right there before you that can never be heard with the...
Complex Truth-Telling And Empowered Change

:"emotion suppression," "spiritual bypass," "toxic positivity," and "avoidance coping." Avoidance coping involves denying, minimizing, or otherwise avoiding dealing directly with stressful demands, and when stress is high, it is very closely linked to causing the distress and depression that it is trying to avoid. According to a study published in American Psychological Association in 2011,...
Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak...
Connect Before Correct

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I have a question which has been running through my mind for some days now. It was sparked off in our NVC weekly practice group. I was sitting there trying to connect to my reasons for wanting to give empathy to a person who was telling us about some very painful feeling she was having, without connecting to her needs. I recalled hearing Marshall say something like...