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NVC Resources on Happiness

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Setting Goals for the New Year

Trainer Tip If we ourselves remain angry and then sing world peace, it has little meaning. First, our individual self must learn peace. This we can practice. Then we can teach the rest of the world. —The Dalai Lama What do you want to focus on this year? What are your goals, hopes and dreams? It’s important to make your goals concrete and specific. Don’t just say that you want to be happier;...
What’s Important to You?

For me this exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. I experience it as wonderfully alive. It's also an opportunity for people to build connection with one another. It has worked well for a variety of different groups, whatever the age level, history or current life challenges. I usually use a flipchart or a whiteboard....
Denying Our Needs

Trainer Tip What’s terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is the first-rate. To pretend that you don’t need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you’re capable of better. —Doris Lessing It is painful spending our days pretending we’re not who we are. For years I tried not to be passionate because I thought my passion turned people off. And I tried not to be...
Living Autonomously

Trainer Tip The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. —Marcel Proust Many people consider autonomy, or free choice, to be a need. That is, they believe that we all need it to live happily. I see autonomy more as something we already have, as a way of living. Let’s imagine that a friend of yours works for someone who wants her to start her...
How to Create a “Living” Organization

As a manager or business owner, you are responsible for getting business results! See how creating a happier and more productive workplace through NVC also delivers bottom line results. Listen to this interview with Gregg Kendrick and one of his clients to learn how to successfully introduce NVC into an organization that is unfamiliar with the concept. Gregg’s client, Dale Neikirk, will be...
Secure Differentiation

Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. Are you happier when you are not in an intimate relationship? If so, you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn...
Is NVC Always One-on-One?

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I'm finishing up a toolkit on dialogue and deliberation and am including NVC in the conflict transformation section, but I am lacking any stories of actually transforming conflict in a situation of violent conflict between groups. (I have great "one-on-one" stories, of course.) Are there any that you could share? Or is that the wrong way to think of the work of...
How to Interrupt

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses "wastebasket talk." Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: either leaving or interrupting. I would like to approach her and tell her that when she starts talking, and never stops to check in with me (the listener), it doesn't meet my need for sharing or...
The Sweetest Game in Town

Ask the Trainer I have always tried to encourage my children in their development through praise of certain behaviors, though I don't believe in praise or criticism of the person. For instance: "I notice you are doing a great job being patient, or generous, etc." Or: "Thank you for being so cooperative and respectful during violin practice. Great work!" What's your perspective on praise?...
Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

I. Assumptions Underlying the Practice of Nonviolent Communication Following are key assumptions that NVC practice is based on. Many traditions share these assumptions; NVC gives us concrete, powerful tools for putting them into practice. When we live based on these assumptions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy. All human beings share the same...