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NVC Resources on Judgment

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Does Communicating with Compassion Mean Letting go of our Judgements?

Eradicating judgments is likely impractical as our minds naturally form them. However, understanding inevitable judgments as indicators of our needs rather than truths can foster empathy. Expressing needs rather than judgments can better support connection and openness between one another. Read this article Keywords: judgments mindfulness empathy conflict Ranjitha Jeurkar
Releasing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. —Edith Wharton An underlying theme in a Nonviolent Communication consciousness is to translate our judgments into feelings and needs. It is impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. Releasing judgments, however, can feel like a...
Navigating Self-Judgment

Inspired by Marshall Rosenberg's teachings, Kathleen Macferran's self-empathy exercise offers a transformative approach for those challenging moments when you fall short of your own expectations. This practice helps you connect deeply with the unmet needs and intentions behind your actions, allowing you to move from self-criticism to self-compassion. By embracing this process, you can foster...
Faux Feelings (Judgements) Handouts and Cards

We typically think of certain words as feelings when they can be judgements (eg. “abandoned”). Hidden within evaluative/judgement words are true feelings and needs (eg. if we think we’re abandoned we may feel lonely or hurt, and want togetherness or belonging). With this handout discover more hidden feelings and needs within the judgements that sound like feelings. Then download the card deck...
Moralistic Judgments

Trainer Tip The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions. — Leonardo da Vinci Moralistic judgments imply that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. If you see someone driving faster than you think is safe, you might say that they are a maniac driver. If someone talks slower than is fun for you, you might say that they...
Getting Past Our Judgments

Trainer Tip The only difference between the beauty of one person and the beauty of another is the concept of beauty that people have. —Don Miguel Ruiz Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed with your judgments of self and others? Once when I was driving, I noticed a woman walking down the street. Without being aware at first, I thought, “Well, that’s a particularly ugly outfit she’s wearing.” A few...
Sometimes I Can’t Get Past My Judgments

Trainer Tip Adversity introduces a man to himself. —Anonymous Don’t you just want to say “Ugh!” sometimes? “Ugh” comes to mind for me when I intend to connect with someone while my brain works overtime telling me all the reasons why this person is bad or wrong. This recently came up for me when a woman called me to lodge a complaint about an interaction we had. I let her talk for about ten...
Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

You aspire to live a life of integrity. You feel confident about a set of ethical standards to which you adhere. At the same time, you notice yourself get angry and judgmental when others don't follow your principles. It's confusing because you don't want to judge others, yet there has to be some moral standard, doesn't there?! From the framework of Mindful Compassionate Dialogue, we can...
Four Choices For Responding To Indirect Criticism Or Judgement

However indirectly expressed, any judgement or criticism is about the person's own thoughts, feelings, needs, and requests.This awareness can help you take people's comments less personally, and give you options: silent self-empathy, standing in your truth, contact and curiosity, and honest expression Read this article Keywords: criticism judgement practice passive aggression conflict LaShelle...
Understanding Judgments

Trainer Tip Do not judge and you will not be judged. For as you judge others, so you will yourselves be judged... —Matthew 7:1 Many of us have learned patterns of speaking that backfire. One of these is judging other people. Often, we do this to feel better about ourselves, and possibly to meet our own needs for acceptance and belonging, yet just the opposite happens. Whenever we judge someone...