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NVC Resources on Judgment

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Staying Self-Connected in a Challenging Dialogue

When we're judging we're less able to access what we care about and what we could do about the situation. Instead, create more internal space, self connection and agency starting with connecting to your feelings and needs; then feel your grief or disappointment; followed by getting curious about the other party's needs and context -- and then based on collective needs and the long term effects...
Nonviolent Communication Basics

Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.. Read this article Keywords: observation feeling...
Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience. Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones...
Healing From Betrayal

Repairing betrayal may include rebuilding self trust, getting support, empathy on both sides over time, and new agreements. Even though your (in)actions don't "cause" someone's behavior, acknowledging any part you played in creating conditions for the behaviors to arise, can support repair. Trust builds slowly as new skills, ways of relating and experiences that reflect honesty, self...
A Brief Introduction to "The Work"

In this brief introduction to The Work from Byron Katie, Arnina shows the connection of The Work to Nonviolent Communication. Arnina points out how the first two questions of The Work correspond to the observation step of the NVC process, and invites us into deeper self-inquiry. {attachment:all} Keywords: the work observation thinking thoughts interpretation self examination self inquiry self...
Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment,...
Working With Anger

Fully connecting to the deeper need under the anger can transform and release the anger, without requiring the other person to do anything differently. From there, you can reach an understanding of the other person's experience, feelings and needs underlying the actions that stimulated your anger to re-establish connection with your own and the other person's humanity. Read this practice...
About Privilege...

Read this article Keywords: inequality social change judgement words categorization language NVC community privilege NVC pitfalls Roxy Manning
Beyond "Evaluation"

Read this article Keywords: evaluation interpretation judgement conflict domination NVC myth Bob Wentworth
The Seven Adjustments

Here are seven self inquiry questions. Half of them can help you assess your NVC consciousness. The other half can help you move from pain, fear, resistance, judgement, criticism, and shame – to love, compassion, understanding, appreciation, curiosity, and more. Read this article Keywords: NVC consciousness intention Katrina Vaillancourt self-inquiry