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NVC Resources on Judgment

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Defusing Anger

Trainer Tip Hatred is a feeling, which leads to the extinction of values. —José Ortega y Gasset Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider someone who calls people names in a rage, or hits another person, or walks off slamming the doors behind him. All of these are methods...
Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

Two of the most supportive things parents can do for their children are healing their own attachment trauma (thereby further developing their own neural pathways for emotional regulation and secure attachment) and reclaiming disowned parts. The more that parents do these two things, the wider their windows of tolerance will be for big emotions, intense experiences, and difficult situations, and...
Rethinking Societal Dynamics

Aya Caspi delves into the impact of societal structures and parenting approaches on individuals, particularly the prevalence of extrinsic motivation rooted in fear of punishment, desire for rewards, and a sense of obligation. The emphasis is on how these dynamics contribute to collective trauma and affect brain development. Examples, such as Hitler's childhood and the adverse effects of the...
Deal-Breakers and Staying with Yourself

When navigating any relationship, you might find yourself asking if it is okay to have particular boundaries, to decide that particular behavior is a deal-breaker, or to make certain requests. You ask, “Should I expect this need to be met? Or, “Am I supposed to be okay with this behavior?” Unfortunately the state of mind that asks questions like these is not the state of mind that can answer...
Using Therapeutic Communication to Connect with Patients

Often patients need enough emotional space to reduce any inner stuckness in their situation. They need to do this before they can adequately absorb information or effectively take next steps. Empathy can help with this. Empathy requires an intention to connect non-judgmentally. This gets better with practice. Read on for examples of how a situation can play out with, and without, empathy. And...
Living the Self-in-Life

My Compassion has Become My Teacher During this very moving session, you'll dive into Robert's exercises for supporting connection to your true self as opposed to your conditioned self. You'll: Observe your thinking; Get in touch with your soul's longing; Notice the obstacles and beliefs that arise; and Bring compassion to your inner experience. Keywords: beauty of the needs consciousness core...
I Want to Repair a Relationship, But I am Scared

Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs....
NVC Zen

We each have the power to be the creator of our own inner experience, no matter what is going on externally. The moment you imply wrongness on others, you give power to them. In this excerpt, Aya Caspi shows that the more self-responsibility you take, the more freedom you will have.
Self-Empathy Regulation Process

If you are aware that your amygdala is activated, that you are in fight/flight or freeze and struggling to stay connected and compassionate with yourself or another, You can connect to your prefrontal cortex, regulate your upset, and find a healthy response to the situation by observing your breath, thoughts, and sensations; feeling and expressing your emotions; and connecting to your needs...
Transforming Bias

Mindfulness is paying attention in a balanced and nonjudgmental way. To practice mindfulness is to uncover our own biases, revealing we are less neutral and objective than we think. This takes great humility. Each time we become aware of our own unconscious biases and blind spots, our world expands. Read on for more about practices to help us see, and transform, our own biases. Read this...