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NVC Resources on Judgment

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The Spiritual Path of NVC

Listen to Session 1 Listen to Session 2 Are you a spiritual seeker who longs for an approach that supports compassion for self as well as profound spiritual transformation? If so, you’ll enjoy this dynamic discussion with veteran trainer, Robert Gonzales, and Intuitive Storyteller, Leo Sofer as they explore how NVC can be used as a spiritual path. These discussions will surely support your...
Defusing Self-Sabotage

Access this complete 6 session course In this 6-session course Sarah Peyton will take you through the 5 levels of unconscious contracts that can create patterns of self-sabotage and self-defeat. Each session introduces a different unconscious contract based on various aspects of relational neuroscience and provides support for the release of these contracts. Sarah Peyton shows you how, with...
How To Deal With Difficult People

Sometimes it may be difficult to talk to someone who is criticizing, judging, or blaming you. It may be just as difficult to deal with someone who is giving you the silent treatment, giving you the cold shoulder or just plain throwing a tantrum. So, here are some tips on how to deal with those difficult people who have a hard time communicating what they want to say in a loving and kind way....
NVC Life Hacks 18

Giving feedback can be a difficult task, sometimes we try to avoid getting to the point and instead end up spending a long time attempting to communicate. We find there are mostly two types of feedback. The first focuses on what is wrong with the person's behaviour and tends to feel more judgemental whereas the second is values-based feedback, focusing on the needs of the people involved....
Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?” Faux Feeling Feeling(s) Need(s) Abandoned...
Listening Beyond the Words

What do we do when someone speaks to us in a way that doesn’t feel respectful? In this video, Oren Jay Sofer explores how NVC invites us to listen for the feelings and needs behind harsh or judgmental words — not because we “should,” but because it gives us more choice and freedom in how we respond. You’ll also learn when it might serve to empathize first, and when it may be time to set clear...
Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic:...
Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing. Read this practice exercise Keywords: mixed yes yes behind...
Working With Others' Mixed “Yes”

In this exercise choose a situation in which you got a “yes” to your request but you are not confident that it was agreed to freely or joyfully. Then explore your response to their “yes”, and possible unexpressed "no", with related observations, judgements, feelings, needs, requests, and alternate strategies that come up. Read this practice exercise Keywords: submission yes behind the no duty...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 13

This Tip for the Road is my answer to the question: What are the most powerful things I can do to build an inspired relationship? I answered the question with romantic relationships in mind; however, I believe the answer below applies to all important relationships. No. 8. Follow Your Dreams and Find Your Purpose Keep doing what you love. Keep inspiring yourself. Keep living into your deepest...