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NVC Resources on Judgment

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Enemy Images Process and Exercise

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap? Namaste, —K.M., California, USA Trainer Answer and Practice Exercise The first step is to recognize when enemy images are present in our minds. Often I find that these images operate at a semi-conscious level,...
"I'm Not Good Enough" and Other Leadership Myths

Have you found yourself in that position – sitting in a training or meeting, thinking you have the skills and knowledge to lead, but still stepping back? Many people find themselves balancing on the edge of leadership – yearning to step forward, but holding back. For many of us, it's not about getting more knowledge, more skills, taking one more class or reading one more book. The barrier we...
Comparing Ourselves to Others

Trainer Tip Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them? —Rose Kennedy Comparisons are a form of judgment. There always seems to be someone who is better looking, more intelligent or more enlightened than we are. Similarly, there seems to be an endless supply of people who are not as bright as we, who are worse drivers, and who are less...
From Suffering to Aliveness

How we relate to life parallels how we relate to others! Learn how to have a more healthy way of relating to situations and people when your needs are not being met. Bob Wentworth offers some wisdom on moving from suffering to aliveness through not fighting what is. Keywords: connection resistance reality acceptance self acceptance demands mourning judgment unmet needs willingness self love...
We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

Trainer Tip Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced. —Søren Kierkegaard When empathizing with someone, we listen for their feelings and needs and don’t try to fix their problem for them. The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most...
Life-Alienating Communication

Trainer Tip "Any change in one part of your life affects all other parts." —Gloria Karpinski We have all learned patterns of speech that keep us separate from other people. These patterns can look like judgments, criticisms, and blame, and they are prevalent in our society. In each case, the speaker separates herself from the listener by preoccupying herself with moralistic judgments. She...
Embracing Jackal Thoughts

Ask the Trainer Hello Trainer, If all jackals are thoughts, are all thoughts jackals? In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals. Even if we think, "it's a beautiful day," are we in jackal? Or is it more our judgmental and blaming thoughts which are jackals? Can it be said that when we are in our heads and thinking, we are in jackal...
An NVC Perspective of Power Relations and Connection

Access this complete 4 session course Listen to this course and you will be drawn to: Explore an NVC perspective on power and the dynamics of race, class, gender and other social divisions Connect with yourself as you understand your own life experience in relation to power, resources and choice Develop capacity for showing up fully for dialogues across social divisions In Parts 1 and 2, Inbal...
Listening as an Essential Leadership Skill

Lorraine Aguilar perceives NVC-based listening to be an essential skill to cultivate for success in the business world. A key exercise for building your listening muscle is to work with your judgments of others by translating those judgments from “What’s wrong with them?” to “What's important to me?” Keywords: consciousness exercises/practices needs presence inspiration judgment listening...
The Jackal as a Teacher

Trainer Tip Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. —Martin Luther King, Jr. In Compassionate Communication, we use the jackal as our metaphor for that part of us that is critical, judgmental, or self-righteous. We chose the jackal image because they walk low to the ground, tend to be more interested in satisfying themselves in the moment, and are less likely to...