NVC Resources on Love
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The Jackal as a Teacher
Trainer Tip Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend. —Martin Luther King, Jr. In Compassionate Communication, we use the jackal as our metaphor for that part of us that is critical, judgmental, or self-righteous. We chose the jackal image because they walk low to the ground, tend to be more interested in satisfying themselves in the moment, and are less likely to...
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The Value of Change
Trainer Tip Respect is love. The heart is also love—and so are you. —Swami Chidvilasananda I often hear parents express sheer hopelessness that their relationship with their teenage children will ever change. They have tried everything they can think of and still there is unrest in the family. If you are in a similar situation, consider looking at things from the teenager’s perspective. What...
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Empowering Ourselves Through Our Choices
Trainer Tip The best way out is always through. —Robert Frost Every time we do something because we think we have to, or because we think we should, we are motivating ourselves through guilt and shame. How does it feel to do this? It can feel overwhelming and restricting. Sometimes, it can actually feel like there’s a heavy weight on our chest. Try a new way— discard the words “I have to” and...
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Embracing Nonviolence
Access this complete 4 session course Gandhi spoke about applying nonviolence in thought, word, and action. The heart of the practice of nonviolence is a commitment to live through the powerful combination of compassion, fierceness, and courage, with an uncompromising willingness to stand for truth. The purpose of this course is to place NVC within the tradition of nonviolence and to support...
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Longing For The Company Of Not-Knowers
The last two days I spent on airports, planes and in similar social settings, on my way to co-facilitating a retreat in Virginia, US. And, as I often do in such situations, I spent certain amount of time sitting and observing people, hearing their conversations… And again I had this sense that somehow most of the conversations seem to be about proving to each other how right we are. As if the...
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Empathic Listening Does Not Work Unless it is Empathic Listening
About 15 years ago I had regular interactions with an acquaintance of mine of whom I had lots of enemy images and judgements, and our interactions were not easy. Life moved on in a way that we nowadays barely meet briefly every few years, yet I still remember a piece of wisdom that he articulated then, and I only started to appreciate lately. In the midst of complex and emotionally charged...
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Defusing Self-Sabotage
Access this complete 6 session course In this 6-session course Sarah Peyton will take you through the 5 levels of unconscious contracts that can create patterns of self-sabotage and self-defeat. Each session introduces a different unconscious contract based on various aspects of relational neuroscience and provides support for the release of these contracts. Sarah Peyton shows you how, with...
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I'll Work on Me, You Work on You
Once we learn a communication tool like NVC, our enthusiasm can extend to a heartfelt desire to share it with others. We imagine that if we are benefiting from the tools of empathy, honesty and self-connection, those we love and care for will also. We notice that our own compassion increases and our psychological suffering decreases. Of course, we want that for those we love! Sometimes this can...
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Liberation For All
Whether we have more power and privilege or less, anything less than liberation for all is within patriarchal separation, and will continue cycles of oppression. To liberate ourselves and one another we need to increase our collective capacity through developing related knowledge, skills, research; build an understanding of patriarchal roots; confront lovingly; co-hold dilemmas about privilege;...
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Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice
Everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need …. Really? The other day, I was in a gathering and I ran into a woman two times. What I mean is, I looked up and she was right there and we were standing so close that I was startled. After an hour at this event, I was pulling out of my parking place. I looked both ways and waited for a car to go by and then pulled out of my parking...
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