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NVC Resources on Love

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It's Hard to Communicate When My Partner Drinks

Miki Kashtan hosted Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a a woman whose relationship is challenged by what happens when her lover drinks. In this segment, Miki encourages the caller to get support for her stress, find an outlet for it and receive empathy. Miki addresses the challenges of addiction, the self-judgment of trying to...
What’s Important to You?

For me this exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. I experience it as wonderfully alive. It's also an opportunity for people to build connection with one another. It has worked well for a variety of different groups, whatever the age level, history or current life challenges. I usually use a flipchart or a whiteboard....
Teachers Expressing to Students and Colleagues

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I just started teaching in a public school, and I can't say I'm enjoying the violence that teachers express towards children and their colleagues. There are, however, a couple of teachers in my building who sincerely believe in empathizing with children and respecting their needs. However, when I start talking about Nonviolent/Compassionate Communication (even if I...
Transforming Painful Patterns

Common Obstacles to Success Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Here are common pitfalls: Trying to change a pattern while playing it out Focusing on changing a behavior, usually quickly and forcefully, without empathic listening to ourselves (our needs and feelings in particular) Grounding our motivation for...
Looking at Anger from an NVC Perspective

In this vintage 1999 video, Wes Taylor leads a group of young people in a lively discussion on working with anger. He clarifies that anger is a valid feeling that is a product of "jackal" thinking and points out that anger is never the primary emotion; there is always a more vulnerable feeling underneath anger. When feeling angry, Wes suggests that you ask yourself two simple questions: 1. Is...
Embracing Jackal Thoughts

Ask the Trainer Hello Trainer, If all jackals are thoughts, are all thoughts jackals? In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals. Even if we think, "it's a beautiful day," are we in jackal? Or is it more our judgmental and blaming thoughts which are jackals? Can it be said that when we are in our heads and thinking, we are in jackal...
The Basics of Partnership Parenting Using NVC

Access this complete 6 session course As parents, we often face challenging situations on a daily basis and struggle to create what we most long for. In this 6 session course recording, you will learn how Nonviolent Communication can support a family culture where cooperation, trust and peace are nurtured, and children and parents can flourish together. Are you longing to nurture a relationship...
Don't Be Nice, Be Real!

Access this complete 5 session course In this 4 session course recording, gain practical skills to balance passion for self with compassion for others. You will learn to apply Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to stop yourself from being intimidated, giving in or giving up, abandoning your own needs or resenting others for not being as “nice as you are.” Dive deeper and use humor, music and...
Modeling Behaviors You’d Like to Receive

Trainer Tip I wish with all my heart that we had been able to give the previous generation of students these (Nonviolent Communication) skills. I’m certain if we had, they would have had other means for resolving their differences than violence. —A teacher in Belgrade, Yugoslavia The ways that we interact with our children shape the way they will interact in their world. Our actions either...
Finding Our True Self

Trainer Tip The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one’s own self. —Michel Eyquem de Montaigne Many years ago, I reached an all-time low in my self-esteem. I really thought that I didn’t deserve love. I realized that I had spent years running from this belief, striving for more promotions and recognition so that I could hide my deep fear that I was a worthless human being. I was...