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NVC Resources on Responsibility

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Change Is Afoot

One way to understand trauma is it means we got a blow greater than our nervous system can tolerate – then we move into hyperarousal, and then hypoarousal or dissociation. This cycle can continue long after. Here, we're not able to fully process emotional cues, information, our body, and others. It's important we consider re-writing the cultural paradigm of separation so that our trauma doesn't...
Confidentiality Agreement

that meeting their needs is really an inside job. It seems to me that asking others to not speak about something is not a doable request and that the solution would be for each person to take responsibility for their own need for self-respect, which would not require any confidentiality agreement at all. I am wondering if there is a way to bring beginners around to that understanding. I look...
Empathy – Not Empathy

This handout defines and contrasts "empathy" alongside "responses may meet needs, but are not empathy" (such as advice, correcting, consoling, etc). Read this article Keywords: learning tool empathy nonempathy not empathy unempathic LaShelle Lowe-Chardé Elia Lowe Charde
Guidelines And Suggestions For Empathy Buddy Calls

Here are 10 tips for empathy buddy practice. It includes a handout identifying 15 non-empathy responses to step aside from when you practice. Read this article Keywords: empathy exercise practice handout non-empathy empathy buddy Eric Bowers
Tools to Support Relational Attunement

Yvette Erasmus shares Terry Real's grid as a tool for exploring a spectrum of emotional responses. We all have feelings and sometimes we get dysregulated or frozen up. How do you want to express and be in connection with other people? Can you attune to the relational context that you are in? Keywords: emotional regulation self regulation boundaries Yvette Erasmus
Beyond the Limits of Empathy

Can empathy serve as a reliable guide to action? David Brooks, in his recent article “The Limits of Empathy,” suggests that empathy is no guarantee that caring action will take place. Participants in Milgram’s famous 1950s experiments willingly inflicted what they thought were near-lethal electric shocks despite suffering tremendously. Nazi executors early in the war wept while killing Jews....
Celebrating Love

Celebrate love with Rodger Sorrow! Listen in as Rodger discusses a range of topics including: What is love? Religion and love How to handle unloving responses Sex as a need Experiencing the energy of the need of love This recording is from the Taste of Compassionate Leadership monthly videoconference. Keywords: beauty of the needs empathy exercises/practices feelings honesty needs observation...
Expressing Anger Peacefully

In this prerecorded telecourse, Raj Gill uses an interactive dialogue to help you transform old habits and to develop a new, and profoundly healthy response to anger. While cultural norms often teach us to suppress or control anger, Nonviolent Communication suggests that doing so ultimately keeps us from meeting our needs. Raj offers practical insight and proven exercises to use anger as a...
What's Love Got To Do With It? A Thousand Ways to Say "I Love You"

The impulse to say "I love you" is an opportunity to check-in both with our level of presence (eg. are we saying it by rote?) and also with what we really mean in that moment (eg. what are the needs and real purpose deep beneath the word "love"?). This can invite us to explore a deeper, more heartfelt way of communicating and being... Read this article Keywords: love I love you presence...
Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment,...