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NVC Resources on Shame

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The Paradox Of Why

So often we're habituated to associate a “why” question with being reproached, blamed or shamed – and so defensiveness arises. However, in order to maintain a flow of understanding and collaboration, we need to hear and say the “why” while finding other ways to ask for it. Here we look at how to ask questions that bring each of us vital information that can open up discovery and learning, for...
Transforming Painful Patterns

Common Obstacles to Success Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Here are common pitfalls: Trying to change a pattern while playing it out Focusing on changing a behavior, usually quickly and forcefully, without empathic listening to ourselves (our needs and feelings in particular) Grounding our motivation for...
Healing the Blame that Binds

Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice." As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions. This lack of...
The Compass - Taking Responsibility in the Face of Guilt and Judgment

are! {attachment:all} Keywords: core beliefs presence healing personal growth honest expression authenticity vulnerability acceptance fear guilt inner work life beliefs suffering self loathing shame Arnina Kashtan
The Compass

are! Keywords: core beliefs honesty presence healing personal growth honest expression authenticity vulnerability acceptance fear guilt inner work life beliefs the work suffering self loathing shame Arnina Kashtan
Four Ways to Hear Any Message

when you receive someone’s communication today. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. Keywords: Judge Blame Self criticism Shame Empathy Presence Choice Mary Mackenzie
Moving from Fault to Cause

to understand systemic causes and context of individuals' behaviour. And from there, look for solutions that stem from this understanding. Read this article Keywords: fault white supremacy cause shame society social change activism discrimination socialization Miki Kashtan
Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

a request and a demand is only clearly seen when the other person says "no". Read this Practice Keywords: requests demands motivation life enriching structures life serving guilt buying love shame punishment Sylvia Haskvitz
Judgment and Radical Compassion

translated into right/wrong thinking. In this video, Aya explores different kinds of judgments and examples of each. Keywords: Aya Caspi deserve comparison threat fear trust blame guilt morale shame
The Compass - Awakening to the Journey from You to Yourself

The Compass – Arnina Kashtan's in-depth transformational process – is specifically designed to support you in reliably deepening your understanding of your own and others' conditioning, and finding ways to reclaim your full connection with yourself. Not only does this process enable you to heal the wearying, unending struggle between you and yourself, it also helps you get "unstuck" so you can...