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NVC Resources on Values

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Speaking Classical Giraffe

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I have been practicing and integrating NVC into my life in a focused way for the past three years or so and have found the benefits of it truly transformative. At one point in my practice, it was brought to my attention that some people find the use of "formal NVC" off-putting, that it sounds phony, contrived, or mechanical. In asking a trainer about this, I was...
Expressing Anger Peacefully

In this prerecorded telecourse, Raj Gill uses an interactive dialogue to help you transform old habits and to develop a new, and profoundly healthy response to anger. While cultural norms often teach us to suppress or control anger, Nonviolent Communication suggests that doing so ultimately keeps us from meeting our needs. Raj offers practical insight and proven exercises to use anger as a...
Parenting Series: The Importance of Self-Empathy

Inbal offers parents and anyone with children in their life a lucid discussion of the important role self-empathy plays in creating healthy, supportive relationships. Are the strategies you're using right now supporting your goals for the relationships you want with your children? In this introduction to the NVC principle of self-empathy, Inbal uses an interactive dialogue and simple...
Four Types of Feedback

Trainer Tip Here are four different ways you may offer feedback, followed by the four ways you can hear any message: What's wrong? Destructive Criticism: Demeaning, depreciative, punitive intending to tear a person down. What's right? Constructive Criticism: Timely, sympathetic, supportive, explicit, instructive, problem-solving, intending to build the person up. Feedback by demonstration: We...
The Real Need

This cartoon was originally published here: https://anvc.svenhartenstein.de/en/5/ Out Beyond Ideas of Wrongdoing and Rightdoing “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, There is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, The world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” Doesn't make any sense.” ~Rumi Keywords: humor humour fun...
Beyond Praise

Praise may disconnect us from our own confidence, intrinsic motivation, or discernment. it may lead to perfectionism, people pleasing, codependency, a tendency to criticize others or fix others, and more. Instead, without evaluative words we can sincerely share what we specifically liked about what they did, and what needs were met for us. Read this article Keywords: praise gratitude intrinsic...
Living Abundantly

Trainer Tip Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. —Lewis Carroll How many times in a day do we stop ourselves from asking for what we want because we are sure it is impossible? Think about times when you wanted something but were afraid to ask for it. Maybe you wanted a friendship to evolve into a partnership, or you were sick and wanted someone to bring you...
Mediating with a Group

Trainer Tip "I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving." —Goethe When you mediate a group conflict, the principles of listening for needs are the same as with one-on-one conflicts. Start the mediation by telling everyone that the group will not begin looking at strategies until everyone’s needs have been heard. Dedicate the first...
Using Anger to Serve Life

Trainer Tip All rising to a great place is by a winding stair. —Francis Bacon Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. For instance, if your son shaves your cat, what do you suppose his...
The Three Stages of Emotional Liberation

Trainer Tip True freedom is to share All the chains our brothers wear, And, with heart and hand, to be Earnest to make others free! —James Russell Lowell We all go through stages of emotional maturity. In Nonviolent Communication, we identify three primary stages of emotional maturity, the last of which is emotional liberation. Many of us start at Stage 1, which is thinking that we are...