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NVC Life Hacks 19

In this Life Hack, we take a closer look at 'values-based' feedback and give you 7 practical tips that will help you provide useful feedback. Keywords: Trainer Tip Shantigarbha Warren feedback values
Considering Everyone’s Needs Brings Peace

Trainer Tip Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. —Frederick Douglass We feel our freedom when we are willing to look at others’ needs and our own, evaluate all of them and work toward valuing everyone’s needs. It sounds easy. It did to me in the beginning. However, in a charged moment, valuing other people’s needs...
Integrity

time is always right to do what is right. —Martin Luther King Jr. What does integrity mean to you? Each person has a different definition. For me, integrity means that I live in harmony with my values. If you value freedom of expression, working for a bureaucratic organization will probably not meet your need for integrity. If you value predictability, you might not want to play the stock...
Finding Our True Self

through my head. In a sense, I longed to know who I was, not who I told myself I was. I began to face myself honestly that day, and embarked on a journey of discovering my feelings, needs and values. I learned that everyone is valuable, lovable and important to our world’s evolution. Now I concern myself more with living in harmony with my needs and values, which I see as my true self. Thought...
NVC Conversations About Privilege and Power-Over

Last year, Mary Mackenzie of the NVC Academy organized an online symposium Removing Our Blinders: Seeing the Impact of Power and Privilege that I consider courageous and visionary. The symposium offered an opportunity for those of European background, men, women, and people of color to share their experiences and for others to empathically listen. The calls struck me as poignant, empathic,...
Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

Trainer Tip The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. —Hada Bejar “You are such a good girl.” “You are great.” “You did a good job on that project.” These statements are an attempt to express appreciation, but they convey that the speaker is in a position to judge the other person. This may sound extreme, but whenever we judge someone, we demonstrate that we sit in judgment. A...
Considering the Needs of Other People

needs and when you are limited in doing this. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. Keywords: needs attention relationships values consciousness universal human needs Mary Mackenzie
Saying Thank You without Judgment

Trainer Tip "With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves." —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. In Compassionate Communication, we believe that everything a person says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you.” In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an expression of appreciation in the form of a judgment or evaluation. Remember, judgments and evaluations can...
Observing without Judgment

Trainer Tip "Keep your eye on the sunshine and you will not see the shadows." —Helen Keller You’re in a store and you see someone you haven’t seen in a while. She walks past you without saying anything. You think, “What a snob” or “She doesn’t like me.” Later you find out that she didn’t recognize you, or that she was in a hurry to get her mother’s medication at the pharmacy. On another day,...
Going Deep

or Reality or the Universe. Then you have Universal Human Needs. The core human motivators that amount to the conditions necessary for each human life to thrive. 'Thrival' Needs. Then you have Values. These are still very deeply held and important, but they are no longer universal. Then you have Interests, which represent something that is important and meaningful to us. They are guided by our...