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NVC Resources on Values

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Demands vs Requests

for her to acknowledge other options if she was adamant that he mow the lawn that day. Such a demand limits the possibilities and creates distance between people. Making a request that truly values everyone’s needs equally opens possibilities and helps build connection. Be aware of how you feel today when you hear someone’s request as a demand. Can you think of a response other than succumbing...
Exercise On Self Responsibility

Self responsibility is owning what's yours. It involves identifying your observations, evaluations, feelings, longings, and more. When we identify what's truly ours we are unlikely to mistake it as coming from outside of us. Self responsibility is not self blame. Without self responsibility, we project, blame and judge. Self-responsibility is central to clarity and full self-awareness. This...
Life Force and the Spirituality of Human Needs

6 session course This thought-provoking course will introduce you to The Land of Living Compassion. It’s designed to connect you more fully to your vital Life Force: the deep river of needs and values that flows through your innermost being. “There is a basic life current or impulse resonating in and through us as a yearning of the heart, this current and yearning manifests as human needs and...
Radical Understanding In A Post-Truth World

As difficult as it can be to do, the practice of radical empathic understanding — letting go attachment or desire for shared belief — becomes in my view not only a meaningful and valuable personal challenge but also a way to contribute to the larger world culture of “post-truth.” It may be a way that we humans can bridge the gulf of our differences in beliefs in order to come together to live...
Practical Ideas to Keep Workplace Relationships Satisfying

Workplace relationships are complex. Each employee brings their unique self to work. Their background, perspective, emotional triggers, and working style. Add to this the dynamics of power relations, and the fact that often workplace communication now takes place at our computer keyboards rather than face-to-face. With all that we juggle in the workplace, it’s no wonder the stress of just...
Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy. Why? One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others. This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around... Read this article Keywords: self...
Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

Trainer Tip "The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still small voice within me." —Mahatma Gandhi In Compassionate Communication, some of us call the critical voice inside our heads our jackal. The jackal says you should or shouldn’t do something; it judges you and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when you begin to make a change. I used to be embarrassed by my jackal...
Losing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip Do not consider painful what is good for you. — Euripides Have you ever noticed how one minute something can seem so utterly painful you’re sure it must be bad, then, a short time later, the most amazing results happen, so then you think it’s good? This has happened to me countless times. Consider the time my car died when my finances were at an all-time low. That was bad, I...
Enemy Images

Trainer Tip Sometimes a slight difference in where we stand can dramatically change how we see things. —Melody Beattie Do you harbor negative thoughts about others? Do these negative feelings affect your ability to enjoy those relationships or communicate effectively? When you foster resentment or anger toward other people, your focus is on your perceptions of the other person’s foibles. Your...
Understanding Judgments

Trainer Tip Do not judge and you will not be judged. For as you judge others, so you will yourselves be judged... —Matthew 7:1 Many of us have learned patterns of speaking that backfire. One of these is judging other people. Often, we do this to feel better about ourselves, and possibly to meet our own needs for acceptance and belonging, yet just the opposite happens. Whenever we judge someone...