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NVC Resources on Vulnerability

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How to Interact with an Angry Practice Group Member

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling, and not aligned with the principles of Nonviolent Communication. Recently I requested that he not use the term “NVC” in sending out emails about our practice meetings, citing the guidelines...
Looking at Anger from an NVC Perspective

In this vintage 1999 video, Wes Taylor leads a group of young people in a lively discussion on working with anger. He clarifies that anger is a valid feeling that is a product of "jackal" thinking and points out that anger is never the primary emotion; there is always a more vulnerable feeling underneath anger. When feeling angry, Wes suggests that you ask yourself two simple questions: 1. Is...
From Flipping Your Lid to Flipping the Script

Join Jim Manske for practice exercises that will help you navigate away from reactivity toward a more compassionate way of being in the world, and learn to express vulnerable honesty(scary honesty} . This recording is from the Taste of Compassionate Leadership monthly video conference. {attachment:all} Keywords: empathy exercises/practices feelings honesty observation presence strategies anger...
Doing Something Different

Trainer Tip "Live each day as if your life had just begun." —Goethe This is it. Today is the day to be open to others. Maybe it’s scary to be vulnerable, but what is the alternative? Keep doing the same things and you will have the same results. Make a change right now. Do something different. What is your greatest need at this moment? Is it love, support, compassion, financial security, hope,...
Differentiating Needs from Strategies

Trainer Tip "Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy" ——Ralph Waldo Emerson Sometimes it is hard to remember that needs are universal and strategies are specific. Strategies are the methods we use to get our needs met. When we focus on needs, our world can feel abundant with possibility. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce. Conflicts arise when...
How to Express Feelings

Trainer Tip "By developing a vocabulary of feelings that allows us to clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions, we can connect more easily with one another. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts." —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Expressing how we feel about something gives the other person an idea of how important it is to us. It...
Inspired By Meeting A Greek God

Sometimes life provides inspiring moments that are better than what I could come up with in my fantasy. For example, several years ago I landed, together with my then-wife on Crete, to start our one-week vacation. As it had been agreed beforehand, there was somebody waiting for us in the arrival hall, with our names on a piece of paper, to hand us the car we rented for that week. And, it was...
The Murky Waters of Asymmetric Relationships

Lately there has been, in our global trainers’ community, a conversation about how to deal with instances of trainers having sex with participants, at the trainings or immediately after. And many questions started to be presented into the field, some of them made me shook my head in puzzlement. One of the most typical questions I hear is: “Why singling out sex as something dirty, wrong, almost...
Complex Truth-Telling And Empowered Change

"Our bodies don’t want to spend their energy denying, suppressing, avoiding, and averting. They want to live organically in what’s true for them. They want their messages to be received, so they can move, shift, and flow with the rhythms of life." Have you noticed a tendency in yourself to try to "look on the bright side" when things are feeling chaotic or painful? It makes so much sense why we...
How to Handle Being Judged

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me, that has nothing to do with the other person. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance). For example, when someone makes a comment such as: "Boy it's taking you a long time to get moved in," or, "Oh, it's not noon yet! I...